Dear Mizzy,
After 22 years of a good marriage—at least I thought it was good, but I must have been badly mistaken—my husband “Albert” told me he has never had a happy moment with me in his entire life. That’s right, he said NEVER.
Now, Mizzy, we have five wonderful children together, and how did we even get those five children? It seems to me that Albert must have had at least five happy moments with me in our whole marriage.
Plus the time he distinctly told me he was happy, Mizzy, though I have to admit he hasn’t said it much recently.
In any case, I, in my most restrained and caring manner—startled as I was by Albert’s outburst—asked him what would make him happy. “I am eager to make you happy,” I said to him.
But Albert said there was nothing I could do, that he was finished trying.
Trying? What was he trying?
Mizzy, I am heartbroken to tell you that he has packed up all his clothes and moved into a hotel already.
I don’t know what to tell the children. What do you think I should tell the children?
--Mother of Five
Dear Mother of Five,
Before you do anything, you must get a lawyer to make sure you take this bast—Albert—for everything he’s got, including his socks.
As for the children, send them to their father. Let Albert try to raise five children on his own and see how much fun it is.
As soon as you get the legal papers settled, give yourself a treat to a spa and a nice little vacation on some warm exotic beach.
You have just lost a load of excess baggage.
Celebrate.
--Mizzy
Dear Mizzy,
Why did you tell my wife—the mother of our five children—to take me for everything I had, and to abandon the kids? We are all heartsick and I have pleaded with her, but she won’t come back from Aruba.
--Father of Five
Dear Father—
How does it feel to have the shoe on the other foot? Does it fit?
--Mizzy
