This is not the popular opinion, but I'm just putting it out there that I do not like bacon.
Every Sunday I get to sleep in thanks to my amazing husband. Every Sunday, he cooks an entire pound of bacon. He lights a candle in the kitchen and keeps the fan running on the stove, and even sometimes opens the back door, but it is no use. I still awaken to the smell of bacon in our bedroom upstairs with the door closed.
Perhaps it is my vegetarian nose. Perhaps it is the fact that I never really liked bacon even when I did eat meat. I don't even like Fake-on that much, though I will eat it when presented. (That's fake-bacon for all you non-vegetarian friends. Andy says it tastes like cardboard, but I've never eaten any cardboard so I wouldn't know.)
The worst part: Bacon is Andy's favorite food. He could eat it all day every day. I can't even kiss him when he has bacon breath. Sometimes I swear that he eats so much bacon that his pores start to emit the smell and I can't even stand to be near him. But I want to be near him. He's really darn handsome and a great cuddler at that. What is a vegetarian girl to do?
Our girls also love bacon, though Andy once got angry at me for giving them his leftover bacon from his Sunday cooking extravaganza. He doesn't like to share. I'm not sure it isn't a conspiracy to try to make our girls love him more than me, but so far it isn't working.
So here's to all you bacon lovers. I love one of your kind, but your favorite food makes me want to yack.
