Self Expression Magazine

Because Ninjas Like to Get High Too

Posted on the 28 March 2012 by Kluckmeister @kluckitblog

Why else do you think they ate all that pizza?

Anyways, this is what happens when you spend down-time reading the “news”. Last time it was someone having a heart attack at the “Heart Attack Grill”, this time it’s stoner ninjas. I don’t even want to know what comes next.

I found this “bud”ding story on the San Francisco “Chronic”al and ran it through the kluckit test “pipe”line. Despite a few inconsistencies and terrible puns, it has made it’s way here for you all as I’ve decided to answer back to a few of the Chronical’s comments.

Medical Marijuana Delivery Man Attacked by Ninjas

“West Covina police say two people in ninja costumes robbed a medical marijuana delivery man but it’s not clear how much money or marijuana was taken.”

Ninjas will never leave a trail, I’m surprised you even knew they were there in the first place.

“The victim had just made a delivery to a patient on South Sunset Avenue and was headed to his car when the pair confronted him and chased him with batons.”

-Have you ever heard of Ninja Batons? Neither have I. Call them swords, stars, nunchuks, or even make something up. You really blew a chance to make this story a LITTLE more exciting.

“Henley says the attack took place just before 10 p.m. Friday.”

-Ninja attacks always happen at night, and preferably early enough on weekends so there’s still time to knock down some Sake-bombs.

“The lieutenant says he knows of no other ninja-style thefts recently.”

-That’s because unlike this one they were all done right. Carry on.

If I had to guess it was probably this guy…

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