Image Courtesy of Naturally Healthy Families
Two years ago I attended BlogHer11 in San Diego. This was the first time I was attending as a speaker and as a blogger.I knew, actually, I heard the chatter about my going as a "spy," because, well, you can't be a blogger and a PR rep - and keep both aspects of your life separate.
-Insert eye-rolls-
This was only a few months into my "you-might-have-Lupus-you-might-have-something-else" health period. So I was already a bit stressed.
To give you an idea, the first night at BlogHer I woke up with blood on my pillow and enough hair to donate to Locks of Love. It was scary, but I kept at it and didn't share with anyone at BlogHer what I was going through.
Other than my hotel roomie, I told my hubby and a couple of close friends what my happy-go-lucky smile masked inside:
Bloggers and gossip scared the living daylights out of me. But I was going to do something about it.
I did what most
I figured that if I touched enough folks with my character, they would be my champions and go to bat for me.
I made bad decisions and opened my home and Rolodex to folks that should have never crossed my path - all in the quest to stop the chatter.
Guess what happened?
I got sicker, had surgery, and I still couldn't stop the chatter.
My (personal) friends, completely unconnected to social media and blogging, didn't seem to care - except when I took time away from them to connect to "strangers" on social media.
My mentor then asked the question that would turn my life around:
"Who are these folks, and why do they matter? They are not part of your real life."Damn.
Up until that moment, the web was a buzz about "building your personal brand," "being available for your clients or someone else will be available for them," "managing your reputation," and all that other crap that can really hurt you in the long run and do very little of what you think will do to you.
I started slow, but I did it:But the most important thing I did: unless chatter requires a Lawyer's involvement, I stopped caring.
- I make the conscious choice to pick-up the phone, text less, walk more, see and connect with real friends.
- I'm not online on the weekends - unless it's fun and personal.
- I don't check-in to places that I want to keep to myself or share a few close friends.
- I don't publicly acknowledge my real friends or online contacts that have become real friends.
- I don't engage in personal conversations in a public online forum.
I stopped caring about idle chatter that will continue to happen, because, well, like my mom said "the tongue has no muscle so people will not get tired of using it." Add fingers, and people will type and talk to their hearts content.
Why waste one minute of my precious time to listen, engage in, or care about chatter that is non-important?
Life is fleeting, friends are few and far, a good relationship with a spouse (or significant other) is something that most folks dream about.
And...I have it all.
I am blessed and happy to be in this place.
It was time that I stopped caring about non important stuff and really enjoy the blessings that I do have.
To enjoy a balance in your blogging life, I hope you do the same.