Brainspew in the Internet Dead Zone.

I’m finally sitting down to write this after what’s been two of the most turbulent, emotionally empowering, and mentally challenging months of my life. I haven’t got any internet on at my house at the moment, which in itself is part of the story I’m going to relate, and I’ve piggy backed on the neighbors’ net to steal all of the schoolwork I can so I can keep up. I’ve read what little I could get my hands on, so now I’ve finally got some free time. This has been a long time in coming.
Since I last wrote (I think – no point of reference), I’ve been accepted into Uni, which put the crush on immediately because I got accepted late and was forced to hit the ground running, amongst a massive period of upheaval, during which:
o My little brother had emergency eye surgery, courtesy of a work mishap;
o I learned more about my surroundings and the transport system by taking a couple of trips to South Brisbane without any guide or company;
o I changed roommates;
o I took not one but two trips North to catch up with friends and family;
o I had my first drunken outing in Brisbane, being a birthday party for an old and valued uni friend, and:
o I made a couple of new friends, of whom one in particular I seem to be getting on really well with.
I haven’t yet had a week at uni where there hasn’t been some other sort of drama or happening going on, and to be honest, I’m getting tired of it. Uni on its’ own has the sort of breathless pace that makes me wonder how much I’m actually learning. The teachers are all great, and I find myself enjoying interacting with not only them but the other students whenever I do. If I wasn’t enjoying it so much I would have given it up quickly after I started, but I’m still finding that sometimes it’s a stretch to maintain attention long and deep enough to fully understand the many many things that I feel I’m expected to pick up. I’m taking this degree quite a bit more seriously than I did my undergrad degree; the readings are all done, the activities are done as quickly as I can manage. There’s a lot to get through, but it’s not even that; I don’t want to skim over things and miss something that might be poignant later on. I seem to have a less technical background than most of my peers, and though I have the love of the word, that isn’t going to be enough to have me do well in the world of referencing and academia. I’m rusty, and combined with the fact I started behind and that I want to do it properly, it’s been pretty mentally exhausting. Even as I write, I feel that I’m just spilling stuff out onto the page without much order or sense. I haven’t written anything of my own since I started uni, and though I miss it, I still feel that the things that I have written are actually counting to something, which is good.
In that vein, one of the things that I’ve noticed is that sickness, at least of a physical nature has left me; I haven’t even had a touch of a snotty nose this year, and my digestive problems have left pretty much completely. I’ve had a couple of down days, mainly for two reasons – I’ve had either had a bit to drink the night before, or I feel that I’m not getting my head in the game as far as the overall direction that I want to take. This has been okay though – it’s down to a tolerable level, and I’ve gotten over it, whereas before I was experiencing long term sadness and hopelessness. Hope has been a bit of a theme lately. Even when I haven’t felt the most productive, or a little bit dull in my classes, there’s been a lovely (though not always entirely obvious) feeling that I’m at least working towards something that I’ve actually wanted – a hope that things will get better. This has been a massive digression though.
My little brother caused me emotional distress on some level with his injury. I don’t see my family very often, but it really brought home to me that I’ve drifted fairly far out of their sphere, seeing him so busted up. I’m glad he’s getting better and there shouldn’t be any lasting damage though. The change of roommates has been somewhat more traumatic, though not in any bad way. Though my former roommate was good to hang out with, it’s still been nice to live with a fellow student as I commence my uni career again. I really enjoyed his cooking as well, but I have to say that I missed cooking for myself to some degree. I think the main part has been the usual stress that comes with a change in the place you live – getting used to a different face around the place, differences in schedule, transfer of utilities, the mess of the place whilst the whole transition happens. I’m not unused to these sorts of things happening, having sharehoused for the last decade or so – what I am, though, is very mindful of background stresses and how they effect me, because I have to be. I’ve had minor anxiety issues when big changes have happened, and changing the people you live with is about as big a change as I would have at this point in my life. It’s been okay, but it’s certainly been an experience and has taken some getting used to.
Anyway, that’s been the brief version. I’m going to stop writing here, and hopefully this spew will make some sense when I post it at Uni tomorrow.
Peace.