I had a call to say that Hope and her small chum had been having a happy time pottering about in the garden but that the small chum had become a little impatient with Hope and pushed her. Something that toddlers do to each other fairly regularly, only this time she caught Hope off balance and she’d came a cropper headfirst onto a paving slap. She seemed fine after the initial tears, the bump didn’t seem to be causing pain and a cold flannel mopped up the graze. I was told I didn’t need to rush to fetch her (even though I had to restrain myself from leaping into the car). She played happily for the rest of the day and when I picked her up, she told me that her friend had “push her” and “head bump” but other than that was more excited about the songs she’d been singing and seeing me and her Granby and Daddy.
We got home, she had a huge supper and played with her building blocks, sand, danced and then said, “sleeping” when I came in to tell her the bath was ready.
She fell asleep and all was quiet until half an hour later a horrible shriek, she was calling out in her sleep, a little while later it happened again and she carried on shrieking, then she was sick. She was inconsolable and shouted about “hurting”. The shrieks got more shrill and I decided best thing to do was to go to A&E. I wrapped her up and put her in the car.
We got there and were rushed round to the children’s bit, her shrieks got worse and she was very hot. All very upsetting. The first nurse saw her and she then saw a second pediatric nurse, a handsome lad, and at that point she stopped shrieking and started to play peek a boo. He checked her over, ears, eyes, head etc demeanour etc and said he thought she’d just got a nasty bump but to be sure wanted the doctor to look at her.
She started to shriek again and refused to breastfeed, and we sat and waited, listening to the other poorly children in their cubicles, their concerned parents as flustered as I was. The bump on her head seemed even bigger and she started to get a rash on her cheek. The doctor came eventually, gave her a full check and said that she didn’t think it was concussion and let us go home having given her a dose of painkillers and me a leaflet on head injuries… I was extremely relieved it wasn’t serious but was assured I’d done the best thing taking her in to get her head checked. I’m sure it won’t be the only time especially as she starts being more intrepid climbing, running and then scooting and cycling …
We got home about 2.30am and Little Miss Bump decided that she felt absolutely fine and wanted to do jumping and sing songs about ducks for an hour. Then she settled down and slept perfectly before waking at 7.30, demanding milky and singing more songs about ducks. She also started to talk about going to school, something I’d thought wouldn’t be a good idea on such little sleep. She was so excited that we went. She had a lovely time in the peaceful environment and then had a lovely snooze afterwards, it was only later in the evening that she got grumbly again. Another painkiller and a big breastfeed helped her sleep.
All felt well and then there was a knock at the front door. I couldn’t go as I was sitting with a sleeping infant attached to my breast so mother stood up and went over but called out, “who is it?”, no answer. I shouted out, “who’s there?” no answer. We didn’t open the door and when we heard nothing at all, sat back down again feeling very unsettled. Why do people knock on doors late on a dark night and then say nothing?
We all went to bed, Hope’s father made sure everything was locked up … but I lay there feeling nervous and out of sorts and really didn’t sleep well, wondering what to do if someone broke in and the best way to protect my little girl.
Not normally nervous but I guess weary from the difficult week I had heightened sensitivity, I wished I’d never seen a thriller or a crime programme or even Casualty, lots of horrid images rushing round my head. Hope rolled over in her cot and I jumped out of my skin and yelped. Of course that woke her up and she ended up falling asleep in my arms again. I lay there holding her, wondering what the future holds for her and knowing that I can’t always be there for her and won’t always be able to keep her safe and eventually, feeling profoundly sad, fell asleep myself.
So, no more bumps or knocks please … I’ve got goosepimples on my arms now just thinking about it all.
