Every day my kids wake up, eat breakfast, and watch cartoons. They can each pick one show to watch and it is always the moment I dread most in the day. Why? Because I find cartoons absolutely painful to watch. It’s like hearing someone tell a joke when you already know the punchline. You have to fake being interested when the entire time you are looking at their random chin hair sticking out. Oh wait, is that just me? Oh, sorry.
So during one of those painful cartoon watching moments, I noticed a few things. I noticed that there’s a few cartoon characters in which I have some serious concerns about their future. I believe the following cartoon characters are destined to a life of crime.
1. Elmo – he’s always talking in 3rd person – he never owns up to his problems.
2. Dora the Explorer – she can’t be held down – she’s always looking for that next adventure, that next high.
3. Bob the Builder – a dude that smart was meant to pick locks.
4. Clifford – Who the hell is going to mess with a huge red dog?
5. Lalaloopsy – Those chicks can walk into a bank to rob it and no one would even know they weren’t wearing masks – they are really that ugly and bizarre looking.
Of course, I’ll still let my kids watch them. If I didn’t, how the hell would I check email and celebrity news every day?
