Have you ever lost someone very close to you? Jared and Landon were connected at the hip for years. They played acoustic shows with just the two of them, they started a band a played for years having band practice 3 times a week and shows on the weekend, outside of the band they were best friends. They were "Jared and Landon" always together. The night I met Jared he was with Landon. The first time I went up to our cabin, Landon was there. Landon played a huge part in our relationship and he played a bigger part in Jared's life and he still does.
Last night we were watching "World of Jenks" and DReal was talking about losing his brother to a shooting. Jenks and DReal were in the cemetery and DReal was emotionally open and allowed himself to be exposed, he cried and could barely speak telling how much he missed his brother. He said he'd give up everything in the world for his brothers life except for his son. It was a very touching moment. One of the times where you are watching TV and feel connected with the character.
I was washing my face and just listening to all this emotion unfold on TV. I turned back to look at Jared and his eyes were swollen with tears. I knew immediately the pain he was feeling, the emotions that were surfacing. I always feel so helpless because all I can do is grab him and let him hide, bury his face and just allow himself to be vulnerable for 10 minutes and just cry. Every now and again this happens. There is a trigger that just bring up so much hurt and emotion. It hurts to watch my husband struggle with this for years now.
I know the hurt will never "go away" and I don't want it too. I don't want to ever forget any memory of Landon. I want to tell our kids about the amazing guitarist that daddy used to play with. That's it though, I want to remember positives. I don't want Jared to hurt. I don't want him to cry every time he thinks of his best friend.
Any advice on how to celebrate Landon's life instead of mourn his death?
