Photo Credit: Irish_Eyes
I read an article recently about singles being on the rise...a global phenomenon is happening around us...exciting isn't it? The only problem is, I am personally still outnumbered in my circle of family and friends...I am happy to see singles being written about and lifestyles changing, but until it actually hits home for me, then I'll have that Zen moment, I think...As it stands right now, I'm the only single person in my family...I'm in the minority...hhmmmm...
This blog post will be a combination of random thoughts that I've been thinking about over the previous months...there are so, so, many issues for single people that I could cover here, but can probably never really fully cover in a lifetime.
I've realized another reason why it is so hard to jump into a relationship with someone...it can be challenging to meet someone that we find we click with...that is one thing, but what comes after can be even more challenging...You may be dating someone for a few weeks, month or two and find out that this person is not going to be your life partner for whatever reasons (it takes a long, long, time to truly get to know someone). But, just at this point people are very vulnerable and starting to latch on or latch off. If they are latching on, it can be a tough time to break off with them. Then the unwarranted things that could come out of this begin to happen...harassment because of hurt feelings, stalking, constant phone calls, not taking no for an answer and you name it. We all hear of these things on television (especially when it comes to women)...women getting assaulted, harassed by someone they were dating and that person making it very hard for them to move on...the rage and anger take over among other negative feelings and sides we hadn't seen in our boyfriends and girlfriends.
It makes you more accepting of the fact that many people doing online dating don't want to give out their home or personal phone numbers until they are sure about potential people. Everyone is scared of the other person and it sometimes makes it ever harder to connect. It's just another thought about what is going on out there...a lot of missed connections, a lot of other nonsense!
Another thing I've often felt about being single is how it so goes against the natural cycle of events in a person's life...go to school, get a job, get married, have a child or two or three...right? Well, I don't know about you, but remaining in one cycle of life can be a challenge in and of itself. I mean at some point, you hope to carry the torch and continue on the traditions...When you're forced to be alone all the time and don't belong to a neighborhood with a community, children around, neighbors talking, giving, laughing and sharing and no family that you have created yourself, it is frustrating. It seems like something is missing.
I revere people who can embrace the single life and I think a lot of people look up to these types of people. It is positive, powerful and what we all want to be. I feel, though, that some people were never really worried about it in the first place, though (they never wanted children and marriage) so, it's easier for them. It's easier to say they love it–they love living the single lifestyle...do you understand?
But for some of us, this is not the norm...this is not what and how we feel. We've been hit over the head since the age of six about prince charming, getting married one day, having our own kids and the grown up life...And that is what I'm trying to put out there...I'm trying to connect with the people who might not be as comfortable with it and offer support. We all don't feel the same way about everything right? People tell us we should feel or not feel a certain way...why? We feel how we feel and that's it. It is what it is. Not all of us are capable of being alright with simply being alone day in and day out...not passing on genes, and not being able to contribute to 95% of the conversation with family, friends, and coworkers. I'm being brutally honest here. It's probably not the popular route, but I know there are people out there who can totally understand this...
Another thing I've noticed is that apartment living can be very cold...I've lived in apartments for years (cannot afford a home) and I just don't understand how people go in and out all the time and not even care about their neighbors; it's just the way it is...no porch talks, coffee with the woman across the street..."Oh, can you watch my dog?" ...No, no...it's really just as cold as nothing most times. I think this contributes greatly to feelings of isolation and mixed with what I've told you about before, it can feel like there is no movement. I've read or heard before that people need to feel like they're "making progress" in life or with something specific to feel good, to not be down and out...sometimes I wonder about that...
Well, I've attached that article I opened up with to this post in hopes it will expand your horizon a bit...If I find any more articles relating to singles and how things are changing in the world for us, I'll certainly pass them on.
I hope my thoughts weren't too heavy today...but, I feel better now.
Enjoy!
More Are Living Singly