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Our past month has been a HUGE adjustment. For those of you who may be new around here, or may have missed a few posts, Ryan got out of the Army back in November. The Army runs differently depending on if you are enlisted or an officer. If you are enlisted, every so many years you have to make the decision whether to "re-enlist" or not. If you are an officer, you have a time obligation, and once you meet that obligation, you can stay or leave at any time. The negative thing surrounding this is that you have to give a 6 month notice - not a two week one. So Ryan put in his packet to get out of the Army last summer and was officially finished on December 1.We knew going into this that there was a chance Ryan would not find a job. It was scary, but we also knew that we wanted to get out of the military lifestyle. So when December 1 rolled around and Ryan was officially unemployed, we sat down and had to make some very difficult decisions. Through a ton of tears we cried out to God - confused on what we should do. We knew this could happen, but we never thought it actually would. We had no health insurance, no income...
Ryan's mom was kind enough to offer to let us come and stay with her in New Jersey. We felt this was the best option, as Ryan had a potential job lead in Virginia and we agreed it would be nice to see all of his family for the holidays. We packed up all of our belongings and had them put into storage. We fit what we could into our car and drove from Colorado to New Jersey.
The past month has been very stressful. While we are so grateful for having a place to live, we still have constant bills to pay as well. It's unsettling to watch yourself pay these bills out of a savings account that continues to decrease. Ryan and I have had to completely focus on our faith in God - we know that He will provide the perfect job opportunity for Ryan...we just don't know when.
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I could sit here and choose to complain about all of the tough or frustrating things that have happened, but I want to do something else instead. I want to share with you all of the amazing blessings that have come our way through all of this. God continues to show us every day that even though Ryan doesn't have a job right now, He will continue to provide for us.Right before we left Colorado, the tenant that was supposed to be taking over the last month of our lease backed out. Our landlord informed us that we would have to pay the entire month of rent for December, even though we were leaving earlier. Legally, we knew this could happen, but up until this point we were only going to have to pay a fraction of the month. We wrote out the check. We also had to find a way to get health insurance. Our current insurance would let us continue coverage...for around $3,000 for 3 months! After we weighed it out against other options, we found out that this was actually the smartest coverage, so we wrote that check as well. In just a few days, over $4000 had left our bank account.
Ryan and I just tried not to worry, as we knew these were costs we could do nothing about. Suddenly, in a 24 hour period, I got emails from 3 big companies that awarded me sponsored posts on my blog. They were willing to pay me $1000 for those posts. Our landlord showed up to inspect our house and handed us a $1400 check that we had forgotten was owed to us from our deposit. The Army notified us they would be giving us an allowance to move. These things would cover all of the expenses we had just written checks for. I cannot describe the amount of peace that washed over me. It was like God was telling me that it would be ok.
As weeks pass, we continue to try and find small ways to create an income. We are currently living off of our savings, but I am so grateful that we put some money aside for emergencies. We get discouraged some days, feeling like we are moving backwards instead of forward. I know it weighs heavily on Ryan that we had to move back in temporarily with his mom. I do my best to let him know that I am proud of him and that this situation has not in any way changed how much I love and respect him.
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This experience has been humbling. It has also shown me what it is like to really cling to your faith in God. Besides that money that came in before we moved, God has, day in and day out, blessed me in ways where I have no explanation except for "that was God".Ryan's sister gave us "holiday diapers" because she thought they were cute. She had no idea we were a few days from running out. Multiple friends have sent precious gifts and clothing for Rilynn. They had no idea that Rilynn unexpectedly grew out of her 6 month clothing a week after we got to NJ - and had nothing that would fit her. Even something as small as a blogger reading I was struggling with terrible breakouts from breastfeeding and sending me face care that I could in no way afford right now. I was so stressed out with our life situation and was feeling horrible about myself as well. It sounds so dumb, but I felt so ugly and embarrassed to be seen without any makeup, namely by Ryan. This woman didn't know this - she reached out and blessed me...and it made my breakouts go away. Every day when I wash my face I praise God for the blessings He has given us. Every email I received from all of you, every Christmas card & prayer - these were unimaginable blessings in my life.
I know there are so many people who are in the same situation as us and others who have their own unique struggles going on right now. I just want to encourage you and let you know that I get it. I understand what it's like to be in a place of fear and uncertainty. But I also know what a joy and blessing it can be to let yourself be vulnerable in times like this. It's ok to cry out and accept that the only thing you have is your family and faith. When you allow yourself to let go and trust God, that is when you will see Him work and experiences the greatest blessings.
