I really cannot tell if my life has gotten really busy or if I have just gotten lazier?
I haven’t gotten anything done. I have been staring at the picture on my left sidebar where is says ENGISH in stead of ENGLISH for 3 weeks. I still haven’t gotten around to changing it. I decided to take down my swapping page, because I’ve been terrible at keeping up with it. I decided that right now I need to get back in the groove of my blogging, before I can commit to help others. I plan to have it back up at some point in my life. Scouts honor. I am not a scout.
It is a little bit sad that it’s hard for me to differentiate busy and lazy. I feel really busy, but I also think that I could handle all my tasks if I really sat down and wrote them out. Made lists, and organized my thoughts and schedules.This week has been a really busy few days at work. I am training some newbs, and it takes a lot of energy to be expelling all day. I don’t mind it at all, and in the long run it will be SO WONDERFUL for me, but it’s draining to sit and watch someone do your work, ha ha. I often blog on my lunch break, and this week all I have wanted to do on my lunch break is close my eyes for 20 minutes and listen to Howard. I was in my car today, and started to think what people do that don’t have outlets. When I am stressed and work, I often close my eyes in my car and just turn on Howard Stern. It helps me completely take my mind of the stress and put me right back in a happy mood. I didn’t have Howard 2 years ago, and I can honestly say I don’t think I was as happy. I need that “me time”. I need to get in my car with no one else, and just be in my “glass box of emotions” {name that movie!}. Lately I have felt I need this time more than not.
Blogging is truly my passion. When I discovered the real world of blogging, and really committed it to it, it changed so many wonderful parts of my life. I feel happier when I write. I feel EXTREMELY happy that I have people who like my writing, and are interested in my posts. I can’t tell you how giddy I get when I check my comments and there are a bunch in there. It’s been a way for me to rediscover who I am, and who I strive to be. I’ve always preferred writing. When I first got my punctuation, I wrote my mom a note and hid it in her bathroom. I am a writer. I love to blog, when I don’t blog, I feel down. I feel like I didn’t do my best that day. It’s not a burden, it’s the opposite. It is a goal. That’s why it’s 10pm, and I am rambling here. I am still struggling because my mind has been in one spot. One post that I want to write but haven’t been able to form. I know I’ve talked about that before, but I think that’s why I have been in such a blog funk lately. I have a final due date that I made for myself. My post HAS to be done before September 30th. I don’t know when, but between now and then, it will be up. I will stand behind it, and I will bawl like a baby writing, and rewriting it a million times.
This is my theme for tonights post.
