Another curtain closed on another year of Nutcracker. I certainly marvel at the abilities of other companies to put on dozens and dozens of this performance. MSB produces seven shows accompanied by a handful of dress rehearsals and although I love it dearly, that is enough for me! Pondering this beside a few friends I was reminded that it's different for us... Most professional dancers dance and that's it. They get paid to perform and take care of their bodies and that's their job. Everyone in our cast of the Nutcracker is either a student or juggling a handful of jobs alongside a dancing career. It's exhausting and it's for a loving; not a living.
I realized after being home for a few days and allowing life to quiet down, that this year I got very wrapped up in what the audience would think of my performance. I wanted to give and give of myself, I wanted everyone to enjoy it, especially those that I love... This exhausting chase for approval left me leaving the auditorium with this looming feeling that none of it was good enough, that I wasn't good enough. At the time I couldn't figure out why.
Then I came across this quote in my social media perusals:
A reminder one needs from time to time. Sometimes getting too wrapped up in the giving aspect of performance leads us to forget why we do it in the first place. #inspiration #quoteofthedayA photo posted by Rhiannon Pelletier (@rhiannonkpelletier) on Dec 8, 2015 at 5:39pm PST
Sure, it's great to give. It's great to always want to improve and bring a little bit more joy with every performance to audience members. But that can't be the only reason. It's for us too and that's what keeps us moving forward. Our own drive. Seeing what we ourselves want to see out of our performance. Only then can we feel satisfied.
I wish I had given that some thought before the run. But thankfully it just leaves me eager for the next show and the chance to put a new philosophy into practice.Putting my own philosophical ponderings aside, the run as a whole was successful and truly over in a blink. It was over quicker than I've ever experienced before and I'm still wondering how it happened... To think we're almost four days out since stepping foot on stage already? Craziness.
I feel so blessed to be a part of this production and all of its splendor. I feel it every year. But not going to lie, guys, I'm ready for a long winter's nap!
turns out my Secret Santa was the lovely Caitlin <3 strawberry candy, stress relieving foot soak, and framed engagement photos, what could be better?
a beautiful year that culminated in what will likely be the new traditional spot for our after-the-final-curtain-closes dinner, a gathering at Flatbreads
More posts to come, friends! Now it's smooth sailing through finals and the holidays... Or I can only hope! For frequent updates and a better look into what's going on day-to-day, follow me on Instagram:@rhiannonkpelletier
Stay tuned for a post on "split etiquette," aka: the do's and don'ts for sharing a role.
Finally, I'd love to hear from you! For advice, post requests, or just to chat, contact me anytime!