Lately I have been consuming too much of coffee so that my mind and heart can learn the tightrope of symbiosis. I leave the city when it’s half asleep so that I can sit alone in the coffee shop around the corner; when the lights on the highway shines a little brighter than usual; when I feel my heart get lost in the world that isn’t half as bad as they make it out to be. I take a sip of coffee and feel warm liquid wash down into the pit of my stomach. I try to leave my mind outside these four walls that imprison me here.
There is a war that goes on between my two realities; it catches me off guard when I’m tired of dreaming out loud. One cup in and I feel the knots in my mind loosen. I feel there is so much more than the blue skies. There is this parallel world in parallel far away dreams, perhaps a free falling dream, mine, yours, Zero gravity, dreams; dream in which anything true or conscious is blurred, all thin lines are erased, a dream in which you and me or two sub-conscious coalesce. I see the dark sky filled with sparks of light and punctuated, neatly with stacks of clouds and pictures of you.Two cup in and I’m thinking of the better half of me; the one that lives in between sheets of paper and coffee cups. My heart is use to words in permanent black ink, but yours comes alive with neon insignia and falls into my palms; Like your eyes that can speak a million different words with just one stare with a mere glance. Three cups in and I feel the stars have aligned and I’m floating above the ground on the childhood dreams that lived in the clouds and under leagues of lakes. A dream is still a dream regardless of the shape it takes and as I grew up realities seemed to shine brighter than my dreams that were softly whispered to the darks. I try to find myself in the cracks of these realities and dreams that ever really mattered.
More cups in and I find these clinking cups and clanking mugs providing the kinetic energy that sent sparks into motion. I am soaring with loops of figures that begin to fill my time in this tiny space. I let you to unfold yourselves in my veins; to feel the vibrations in your words that washes over my soul, to feel the pluses within the atoms that surrounds your laughter that plasters my restless nights with stitches of beauty found in the abounded; to collect those fragments of memories because our hand can’t touch and our lips can’t speak, like Styrofoam in my carbon cells, until they combust my skin into beautiful flames.
Too many cups later my hearts race with the tide that rises with the moon and I am bad decisions with a lonely word that drifts from my fingertips as my coffee cups burns my lips and I swear if those fires has mouth, the burns were kisses; that never creates meaning out of the mundane. I am lit by the stars that watches your coffee go cold in the crescents of the morning, floating into oblivion because I’m learning to let time zones and clocks remind me that ‘falling in’ and ‘falling into’ is different and fix me.