Communication Lessons

What is the one question that almost all human beings seek the answer for? For most of their lives? Yeah, I know, there are those strange beings who want "Who am I?" answered or even,"Why do I exist?" or, if they are really verging on insanity, "Do I exist?" (And, no, I do not think that it is only to assure themselves of their existence that people take a selfie an hour and post it on Facebook.) That question, if you stop trying to look wise and profound and all, is "What do people think of me?" Though, yes, a lot of times you tend to put in one person's name instead of people into that question, it is still the same question.
So, yeah, I bother about that question, too, as much as anyone else and, in my youth, the answer was 'They dislike me'; 'They hate me'; 'They want to run at the sight of me' and so on. (Nothing much has change? You think you are informing me of something I am ignorant of?) And, by now, you know of my various helpful friends, one of whom said, "The problem is with your communication. You give rise to too many misunderstandings"
Turning over a new leaf, so much so I looked positively green, I walked into college.
"Good morning", I said to Anita with an ingratiating smile.
"What do you want from me today? I am not allowing you to copy the assignment from me."
Vasu interjected, "Nah! He probably thinks that it is his saying so that makes the morning good."
Undaunted in my new green avatar, I used lesson one from my friend. Turn aside criticism with a compliment, he said, and it seemed wise to me.
"You look very attractive today."
"Really? So I was looking like a hag till yesterday?"
"Are you flirting with my girl-friend?"
Ah! Well! Things were not going too well with the compliments. Maybe, I should use lesson three: apologize, even if you are not in the wrong.
"I am sorry if..."
"Sorry for what? Calling me attractive?"
"No, maybe his Highness is sorry about speaking cordially with plebeians like us."
So, guys, here is the lesson on communication. It is impossible to avoid understandings because...
People will understand only what they want to understand!