Comparison: The Thief of Joy

Welcome to theBlog Hop Comparison: Thief of Joy?where bloggers from all over the world are invited to share their ideas about Theodore Roosevelt’s quote: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Do you agree of disagree with Teddy’s POV? Please share your unique perspective.
There are 3 easy steps to join the Blog Hop:
1. Follow the instructions for submitting your entry using the Linky provided below – remember to copy and paste the link to your specific ‘comparison’ post, not just your blog, into the Linky.
2. Copy and paste the following announcement (with links) into the intro to your blog post: Linking in to the Comparison Blog Hop onDangerous LindaandEveryday Gyaan
3. Be sure to read and comment on other bloggers’ posts in the hop. It’s a great way to get to know each other and expand our cyber-community of awesome writers and thinkers.

This quote by Theodore Roosevelt takes me to a trip down memory lane.Flashback around 20 years ago…I was in elementary school.The results for our exams just came out.I get my test paper and see my score…62 correct answers out of 70 items…Fair enough.I was satisfied.But then I had to ask my competitor’s score…Because mommy made me note them for comparison…I ask…Competitor got 65 out of 70…I write it down.Then I get home.I show mommy the sheet of scores…And she sees competitor’s score higher than mine…I get reprimanded.Mommy would say in her angry voice,“What is it that competitor got right that you didn’t and why?”I would feel sad. Embarrassed.Stupid. And then guilty.Why did I not study harder?Now competitor is a better student than meAnd mind you…That wasn’t the last time it happened.“Why can’t you be as studious as this girl? She’s at the top of her class.”“Why can’t you be as outspoken as this person? You should stop being shy.”Never ending comparisons made by other people.Until I learned the nasty habit of comparing myself to others…

Back in high school, these thoughts prevailed…Geez, my abs isn’t as flat as Britney Spears’.I won’t eat much because I want to be as slim and sexy as this girl (in my teenage years).I’m ugly because my nose isn’t as high as hers.
Until it got me obsessed.REALLY obsessed.
Fast forward to my mid-twenties…I meet Mr. Killer Smile.He sweeps me off my feet.We flirt a little lot.And my friends knew I like him.They tell me about his ex-girlfriend.His so-damn-gorgeous ex-girlfriend.I was intrigued.I knew I had to make a research.I wonder how she looks like.And thanks to social media, research wasn’t much of a hassle.I found her on a social networking site.And the first thing I told myself when I saw her picture…Damn, I’m nothing compared to her…Tall…popular…long shiny hair…flawless white skin…with a high nose…But if this is the type of girl that Mr Killer Smile would fall for…Then I’ll make myself be like her.So I did.If you’ve heard of Hollywood celebrity fans who wanted to be exactly like their idols…Then I am most likely like them…Only without the plastic surgery part.Stalking her through social media went on…Somehow, it felt both good and bad at the same time… I don’t know why.And every night…Part of the reasons why I couldn’t easily fall asleep and my mind in constant turmoil…Was the fact that I was always thinking of this girl…Of why she looked better than me.And the fact that Mr. Killer Smile might not like me…Because I don’t have his ex-girlfriend’s qualities…
Then Mr. Killer Smile starts ignoring me and dates other girls…Then I feel rejected, secretly cry, and not get over him.And I wonder why he never asked me out on a date, unlike those other girls…What is it that they have that I don’t?So I continued the stalking… the comparisons…Only to eventually feel bad about myself every. single. time.It seemed like a pattern that never has an end.
But one day, something inside me told me to stop…Just be…And focus on myself, instead…Who I am…My strengths…My uniqueness –Somehow at that moment…I felt like I finally found myself…And it was truly. liberating.
A priest at church said…That if we compare ourselves to others…We would either feel superior or inferior.The feeling of superiority encourages pride.While the feeling of inferiority leads to insecurity.But neither gives you peace of mind.So this encouraged me to stop looking for a point of comparison elsewhere…And instead…Compare myself with no one else but…MyselfCompare myself now from yesterday and the distant past…Have I gotten wiser?Stronger?Am I a better person today than yesterday?Suddenly, it all made sense to me…
I was happy and I learned to love myself more. :-)