Today is White Ribbon Day and though I may not have any direct or indirect experience with this, I would like to share and maybe create awareness.
What is White Ribbon Day? It’s a day where we spread the word to end Violence against Women. It’s a day where Men take the oath to end it, to seek help and admit that they have a problem. It’s a day for Woman to help each other out. A day to show support, to end victimising and to empower ourselves with the knowledge that we, as women, do hold the power to end it.
We all think that violence against is only about women getting physically assaulted. It is not. Emotional abuse, verbal and sexual harassment, stalking and etc. these are all considered as violence against Women. So in other words, anything that violates your personal safety that is Violence.
I went to a Women’s only self defence class yesterday. It was conducted by my Sensei to empower women with the knowledge that they can defend themselves if the situation comes. More often than not, violence against women, is done by someone we know or once knew. It could be an acquaintance we once met, an ex, your current partner. That is alarming. Someone we know and trust, using it to hurt us.
In the class, Sensei Stephen showed us a couple of moves to get us out of “trapped” situations. One thing I realised is that you do not have to be physically stronger than your opponent. At the end of the class, he told us, even if we can not remember anything from the class, we at least have taken the first step in stopping Violence against us as Women. He did also say that men who usually prey on women, usually are on a power trip. They like to exert themselves to show that they are stronger because deep deep down, they are not and that is why, they can not go up against someone their own size but pick on someone who they think is physically weaker than them.
Here are some tips that were shared during the class and in general:-
- In public or if you are in a new environment of place, show that you have confidence. More often than not, the more confidence you have, the less likely you are preyed upon.
- Don’t be afraid to use your voice. Scream, yell for help. SWEAR like a sailor. This will alert people around you that something is happening. And if you swear, that might put them off a little bit because it's not "ladylike" to swear.
- If you feel like someone is following you, turn around and ask “Are you alright?” or “Can I help you?”. Predators usually use the element of surprise to catch their victim. By turning around and acknowledging them, the element of surprise is gone and they no longer have that power over you.
- If you happen to know the person doing the abuse, let them know that you know. Let them know that you do not support what he is doing even if he says “It is none of your business” because it is. The safety of someone is your business.
- Remind the person doing the abuse that like their mom or their grandmother or the women in his life, his partner or wife deserves the same respect. Make it personal. Tell them that they are better than that.
If you think that the situation is dangerous, call the police. Let them (the attacker) know that they are being watched.
These are some of the tips that were shared at the class. There are more tips on the White Ribbon website. Like I said before, I do not speak from experience, I can only help spread the word and create awareness and this is what I am doing.
If you hear of a self defence class near you, please try and attend. I can not stress how important it is to feel empowered by going to one.