Don't get too excited. Read on...
I received an instant message from my first Paris roommate Charles. To recap, the last time I spoke with Charles, he wanted to come over to my apartment for a booty call and tried to sell me on the idea that he would be quick. Ew. So I wasn't sure what I was in store for this time when I heard my instant message ping and saw that it was from him.
Charles15eme: I hear you are back in New York!
EllaCoquine: Yes, but just for another week or so before I go back to Paris. I can't wait to come back!
Charles15eme: Me neither..I miss you...
Hmm, ok random. It's always the dot, dot, dot that makes it mysterious...
See?
EllaCoquine: Oh stop! You're so funny!
Charles15eme:But I do.
EllaCoquine: Oh, ok. Well me too. I miss you and Paris!
Charles15eme: How come you can't just miss me? Why do you have to miss Paris too?
Sigh....
EllaCoquine: Ok, I exclusively miss you.
Charles15eme: Thank you. So, I have been thinking about something.
Oh no...
EllaCoquine: Yeah?
Charles15eme: We should get married.
Excuse me? Ok, this is obviously a joke. But since Charles doesn't really joke, I have to assume that it's not. I have to fix it. Undo it. Undo it.
EllaCoquine: lol! Can you imagine?! ha ha
Lame, I know..especially the 'lol'.
Charles15eme: Yes, I can. We lived together once and it was great.
EllaCoquine: It was great until I started having feelings for you and then it got weird, so I had to move out. That part wasn't 'so great'.
Charles15eme: I know, but this time it would be different because we would share the feelings for each other.
What?! This doesn't even make sense. I haven't seen Charles since Monsieur Flaneur and I stopped by last Christmas to pick a box of my things and drop off a bottle of wine for him. There are no feelings between us. At all. Ok, it's time to go in with a different angle...
EllaCoquine: Well the last time someone proposed to me, it was in real life, not over the internet and it didn't turn out so well. So I'm laying low on the marriage proposals these days! :)
The smiley face was just in case he is in fact, joking and so I don't feel dumb when he tells me that.
Charles15eme: Monsieur Flaneur just wanted to have fun. He wasn't serious. He acted like he was 18 years old.
EllaCoquine: So true. So, so, so true. The thing is Charles, I started seeing someone and I think it would be sort of weird if I went off and married you. I don't think he'd love the idea. Just a guess...
Charles15eme: Who is this monkey?
EllaCoquine: This 'monkey' is a nice guy....A nice guy that I'm interested in.
Charles15eme: He doesn't know you like I do.
EllaCoquine: Ok, first of all, I haven't seen you in 9 months and the last time I heard from you, you wanted to come over for a quickie AND now you're proposing to me through instant message? How am I the ridiculous one here? What's really going on?
Charles15eme: Ok, ok. So here's the real thing. I know you are back to renew your visa and have a lot of paper work to go through, but I am French and would make your life easier if we were married. And then one day you can do the same for me in America.
Charles15eme: Hello?
Charles15eme: Hello?
EllaCoquine: Charles...I am not marrying you or anyone for paperwork. I'm sure a lot of people do that and good for them. It's just that when I envision my wedding, I don't envision it with someone I am not in love with in a court house with our friends used as witnesses who have to pretend they're happy for us. And plus, deportation would really throw a monkey wrench in my life plans. Just saying...
Charles15eme: It's not just for papers. I realized how much I've missed you and saw your broken engagement as an opportunity for me to step up and be with you. A second chance. I had the best girl living with me and I didn't even know it.
Well if that's not flattering, I don't know what is. Every girl wants to hear that from a guy who wasn't that into her in the past. Unfortunately, it doesn't feel as satisfying when you don't share those feelings anymore.
EllaCoquine: Wow, Thank you. I had no idea you felt this way. You know if we were having this conversation two years ago, it would have been different.
Charles15eme: I know...
Dot, dot, dot...
EllaCoquine: Timing is cruel. I think you are panicking because you just turned 30 and feel that getting married is what you should be doing. Trust me, I know.
Charles15eme: Perhaps. I have been feeling stressed this summer, like I should be doing something else with my life.
EllaCoquine: I am definitely not that something else..take my word. I get how you're feeling though and getting married isn't the answer. You will be stressed again once the thrill of it fades. Listen, when I get back, let's go for a glass of wine and catch up. As friends!
Charles15eme: Yes, of course, as you want. See you in Paris, Mlle. Coquine. Bisous. :)
EllaCoquine: Salut. Bises.
I sat in silence, only the sound of the dying cicadas whose chirps are slowing down as we get closer to September were to be heard. Maybe we should be together, I thought? I have a soft spot for Charles. He brings me back to my first months in Paris when everything seemed magical and perfect making me nostalgic for my Motte-Picquet days. I don't know, or maybe it's all of this wedding stuff that is messing with my head, so I called Kitty who was at work for some advice on whether I should consider marrying Charles. "Are you fucking kidding me?! Your family would flip out!" she snapped. Before I could say that I wouldn't tell them she cut me off - "And don't say you're not going to tell them, because one night at family dinner after wine, after your family makes another comment that you're a single spinster, you'll flip out on all of them and announce that you've been married this whole time which will look absolutely insane to your old-world Italian grandparents." I was about to deny that that would ever happen but before I could she continued, "And don't get me started on the pre-nup. You can't just write 'You like can't take my stuff' on a napkin and sign it'!" Before i could get a word in edge-wise, she said, "Ok, my boss is coming. I have to go. Don't get married! Call you later." Click. Putain, that was like a Kitty tornado. I'm guessing she doesn't like the idea.
After being yanked back down to reality grace à Kitty, I shook off my conversation with Charles and went back to organizing myself before heading back in a few weeks. Today is about not accepting wedding proposals over Skype chat, listening to your best friend and using that gym membership you just purchased!!