Decisions

Decisions. I swear they are one of the banes of my existence. Oh my goodness do I ever have a hard time making decisions! I have always struggled with trying to make sure I am making the "right" choice. I recently realized I have a bit of a problem with making decisions when I went to paint my toe nails before the 4th of July. After struggling over which color to paint them for near all day long, I finally picked sparkly black. And before the second coat even dried, I wished I had painted them a different color! But I made the decision, so I stuck with it. Since I can't "decide" what color would be better, they are still sparkly black.
This feeling of being inept with my decision making skills lead me to think about decisions and "making" them and just how many I have to contend with in a day. Truth be told, decisions cause me a lot of stress! I sometimes envy Brady, who makes snap decisions. What a blessing to be able to decide on something quickly and to go forth confidently. On the other hand, sometimes his snap decisions are not always the best, and we end up rearranging things to accommodate a choice made too quickly. I will bend over backwards to make sure I schedule things to best take care of everyone and everything.
You are probably thinking this is a ridiculous thing for me to be contemplating, but it is actually a concern for me, because I never really thought about how much added stress I am causing myself. Do I really need to agonize over every detail of my life? Good grief! You want an example? Okay, I'll give you one. I spent almost an entire week and lost at least three nights of sleep over picking the hotel for our stay in Pendleton. Can you believe that? Literally, I lost sleep over which hotel would be the best for everyone involved. Yes - not even anything important I am getting worked up about!
I used to worry that we put our kids in the wrong school. This, it could certainly be argued, is a more important matter to worry about. But last summer, one of the School Improvement Specialists in the company I work for, JP Associates, Inc., which happens to be an expert company in education, shared with me I shouldn't worry about it. He said to me, "Your kids are bilingual?" I said yes, they were. I have always wondered if it was the right choice to put them in Spanish Immersion, because their English has suffered, and their spelling is atrocious. But he said, "They are set for life. Don't worry about spelling - they'll have computers to help them with that. And if they're bilingual, their brains are wired for success." That made me feel so much better! But why did I need someone else's opinion to make me feel better about what Brady and I had decided four years prior?
Well, it all comes down to striving for perfection, I suppose. It must be the Capricorn in me. I just can't bear the thought of making the wrong choice, although I have done that many, many times! Who hasn't? Still, I am going to have to give myself a break. Because when it comes right down to it, who the hell cares what color I paint my toe nails? Except for me. But since we are on the subject, what is a good color to paint them? Any ideas?