One of the things I love more than keeping a journal is going back and reading them. It can be painful, funny, heartbreaking and joyous to read words written days, months, and years ago; I always find rereading my old handwriting to be perfectly bittersweet.
I thought it would be fun to start a new series, Diary Days, where I go through my old books (I’m now on journal #14) and type up a few passages. It’s a way to share a little more of myself here on this little ole blog, and it’s also to encourage you to share some of your old diary pages, too! Yes, I’m sure I’ll leave out some of the more recent stuff that still feels a little too raw, but for now I’m starting with a page from August 21, 2000. I was almost thirteen, and just about to go into eighth grade. I’ve also dug up some old photos from around this time to help set the mood.
My first bikini, Michigan
August 21, 2000
I just came back from Camp _______, and I’m different. I know I am. When I’m about to say/ do something dumb, I don’t do it. Instead, I think, “No, that’s stupid. That’s what I would have done six months ago.” It’s really strange. I feel as if I’ve matured in the past month, in the least likeliest place of all! A camp filled with thirteen year old girls! I’m going to try to be the perfect daughter, and not get in half as many fights and arguments with them. I also want to be better in school: study harder, work harder, try harder. I know I probably won’t be able to do it, but I’ve got to push myself to do it. And I’ve GOT TO BE BETTER ABOUT HOMEWORK!!! I have to concentrate and NOT watch TV before I can do it. I’ll have to keep my desk neat all of the time, and keep my room neat. I’m trying so hard to be a good daughter.
My mom and I at lunch in Switzerland on Spring Break… that ski goggle “beard” tan left me mortified for weeks in middle school!
I want to do something nice and special for my parents, but I don’t know what. With the money that I made from selling things, I want to buy things for the people who mean a lot to me. I want to try to be the best friend I can be.
My friend Hannah and I in Southampton
I know, this is starting to sound like a New Year’s resolution, but to me the New Year is when school starts. I’m also going to try to be less lazy about things. Just little things like cleaning my room, doing the dishes, emptying the garbage. But I also don’t pay enough attention to Charley. I have to walk him regularly.
Jenny, Abby, Bere and I at my grandfather’s funeral reception in Indianapolis
Anyone feeling bold and ballsy and want to join me in Diary Days?
