Up until the Olympics began I was fairly sanguine about not having managed to secure any tickets at all. It would be much better on the telly, I told myself. The tickets were crazily expensive. The traffic would be horrendous. But since the Games kicked off I’ve been looking longingly at the crowds, envying them their place in the middle of the action, the chance to cheer on their sporting heroes and the opportunity to say, “I was there”.
This morning, though, I was unexpectedly cheered by the arrival in my post box of a programme for another sporting event that could prove to be every bit as exciting. Better still, it’s practically on my doorstep and I shouldn’t have any problems getting tickets. Heck, I could even take part if I really wanted to.
Now where did I leave my wife?
The World Alternative Games, held in picturesque Llanwrtyd Wells in mid-Wales (famous for its bog snorkelling championships), are Llanwrtyd Wells’ answer to the Olympic Games. You won’t find rowing, 100m sprinting or synchronised swimming here, but you will be treated to some truly extraordinary feats of athletic prowess in a series of startling events.
Take the wife carrying event, for example (my personal favourite) – a race that takes place over a course of 255 metres. It is what it says it is, except that the “wife” doesn’t need to be married to the “husband”. The prize for the fastest couple is the wife’s weight in beer, and there’s a bonus prize for the husband who completes the course with the heaviest wife.
Other events include worm charming, Pooh sticks, office chair racing, backward running, stiletto racing, gravy wrestling, rock paper scissors championships, a Bible readathon (over five days, non-stop) and even, being Wales, underwater rugby. In the true Olympic spirit there will, of course, be an opening and closing ceremony which, although they may not feature the Queen and James Bond, are bound to be just as much fun.
So I may not get to see Katherine Grainger and Anna Watkins in their quest to win that elusive gold medal, or watch Usain Bolt battle to defend his Olympic title, but I will be ending next month on a sporting high. Now, where did I put my snorkel?
