When they get out of control, we need to make it our business as they have suddenly caused our neighborhood to be a not very safe place and we now have reality TV right in our backyards.
This happened in my apt building complex on Friday night and it turned out to be quite scary. I live in an apt complex of four buildings, two on one side and two on the other. In each building there are six tenants. It's not the nicest area, but hey it's home.
We have had more than several instances where the cops have been called and there is constantly disputes of some sort. Even just three or four weeks ago, I arrived home to find the cops outside talking to two men trying to work things out.
Earlier this year, we had another incident where someone who lived in one of the buildings went a few houses up and burglarized a home and the couple heard him and the husband fought with the guy and killed him in self defense. That was scary too that we had someone like that living near us. And the people he was living with got evicted.
So, Friday night, I drove home and got out of the car. My upstairs neighbor came down and parked her car better and I tried to park mine again too. We both went upstairs and we were quiet. She has a kid. I don't know if the kid was there, but she has one.
I popped in Don't Be Afraid of the Dark and began watching for a while. I had seen the movie the night before and wanted to watch it Friday night again and then play it Saturday for my girls before we mailed it back to Netflix. (Didn't realize the movie was R rated, but it was okay I think for them to watch. Mostly suspenseful and about the little girl being chased by creatures from the cellar. We all hid our eyes in the beginning when the old fashioned maid's teeth get chiselled out. That was gross.)
So, about 9pm, my neighbor's boyfriend or husband came home. I don't know them very well. I'm usually gone all day to my kids house and I'm not home until 7:30 or 8pm. Her apartment is right above me. Well, he got in there and immediately they start fighting. He's yelling loudly and I can here some loud bits and pieces of their fight. She's yelling too, but not as loud as him. I couldn't hear her very well. It escalated really quick and I immediately heard banging, lots of it right above me and I am positive there was some running involved up there. I'm sure a clear sign that he could have been trying to hurt her.
For a few more minutes, there was fighting and then he went outside. But he didn't leave. She must have opened her window and they continued their fighting. Then, I heard two gunshots. Okay, now I am alarmed! I waited a few minutes but did grab my phone. Mind you at this time, I am in my sleeveless red and white polka dot nightgown with my peace symbol housecoat covering me and no undies. Eek.
I waited a minute. As usually when you start to hear that, you want to make sure you heard right before you start calling 911. You don't want to call before you really know a threat has happened.
Then I heard him out there saying, "Don't you fire that gun at me." Or pretty darn close to that. I looked out and I could see someone coming out from the other building. At this point I know that others have heard it too and I was not imagining things.
I then grabbed the phone and took it into the bedroom to make the 911 call. I didn't want to be calling them out in the living room where this guy could look in and see me on the phone. My blinds aren't in very good condition as my cats did a number on them. I've got new ones but was waiting until I move to put them up. Now might be a good idea to learn how to put them in.
So, when I went into the bedroom to make the call, I told them what was happening, where we were, and they said that there had been another call in that area too and that they would be right over.
It is good to know that at any time we can call 911 and get through. Unless if your phone isn't charged up. Always have your phone charged as you never know when you are going to need to use it. You want it to always work when you have an emergency.
And be careful when calling on your neighbors as you don't want them to find out it was you that called them in. But it needs to be done, so you can make sure that you are safe. Yes, they are out of control and need to be dealt with.
So, at this point I figured I should get a skirt on. I should have also put on socks or my shoes, but I didn't think. I went out into the hallway when I started to hear another girl in there. As soon as I got into the hallway and started to talk to her, three cops came in, went upstairs for a second and then ordered us out of the building.
When I got outside, there were already lots of people out there. I went across to the other building as I saw one of my friends over there in her pajamas and she was crying and I went to her. We went into her hallway as we didn't want to be out there in the middle of it for the moment. She was petrified as she was home alone with her sleeping little girl and her husband hadn't gotten home yet. She was so upset and was talking about how they want to leave and get a different place to live. I don't blame her.
I calmed her down and told her we would be alright. It was good that we went inside the hallway, as you don't know what would happen outside in the middle of the darkened cold fall night. Who knows what would happen. We did hear later that they told one guy to get down on the ground. He was innocent of course but when the officers first get there, they don't know who is who.
Finally we figured it was okay to go outside and see what was going on. Of course at this point we're all talking and everyone is upset and another girl was worrying she would get panic attacks. It's natural to suddenly be feeling very scared when we see it happening before our eyes. It's a lot more close to home when it's in your backyard. Makes it so much more real than just witnessing it on the boob tube.
A few of the girls were filling out a written statement with descriptions as on Friday night the boyfriend, husband whoever he was took off and as far as we know they haven't found him yet. On Friday night, nobody was taken into custody. And they had to bust down the girl's apartment door to get in. Which that would tell me that she didn't want to cops to come in and could be hiding something too. I mean, if you have the cops at your door telling you to open, anyone with nothing to hide will open it with their own free will and let them in and explain what happened.
At first I was thinking of giving her my All Men are Jerks until proven otherwise book that I was reading and brought outside with me on Friday evening, but then as I thought about it some more, I figured I just shouldn't get involved at all. I don't know her or him, and the only contact we had was an issue of them constantly parking in my spot with a lisense from another state and now that car hasn't been there in a long time. It could also be a suspicious car.
There were three cop cars there and finally they let us go back inside. Now my feet were by then pretty numb.
It made one of our local news stations and was one of their articles yesterday. I made a few comments to it and I'm just checking today to see if they got approved and I'm following the story as it's right above me and I feel I need to know if I am safe.
I'm hoping she gets evicted. I think after this, she should. Well, Friday night I grabbed my spare key from it's hiding place and brought it into my apartment. I got smart and brought it to a safe place: my kids house where I am at for the most part. I think I definitely feel much safer over there five miles away from my apartment.
So my spare key will hang out there for a while. I've got two reasons for this: Number one, this couple, and the other one would be my recent ex boyfriend. I've exposed him with a phone call to this girls husband she was cheating on. Thought I was going to talk to the girl and it ended up being her husband who knew nothing about it supposedly. And my ex got a letter last week with a note on the back of the envelope that tells him I know about her and some business that is running out of his house that is secretive and he might be in a lot of crap down there. And he might decide to come after me if he snaps and blames me for exposing him and possibly wrecking his life, which was his own damn fault.
So, I'm out of it completely. I found out what I needed to know, and now just feel like I need to play it safe for a while and have my spare key somewhere else, have my phone charged up and by my bed and just be overall cautious about him and this dispute between my neighbors. And most likely my ex wouldn't come after me, but you never know so it's good to be cautious.
I slept over my kids house last night for my regular Saturday night sleepover so was thankful I wasn't over there. I was dreaming though. This is funny. I heard my son's voice down in the cellar with his friends, but was dreaming that I had to get up and make sure my door was locked. Well, I suddenly woke up and realized it was Sean laughing with his friends. That was funny and then I just enjoyed listening to the three of them laugh for a good part of the late night teenage pow wow.
And the other funny thing was my daughter Mollyanne. She came out into the diningroom when I was on the phone with my dad and she heard I had brought my spare key over and she wanted to know where it was. At this point I take the phone out to the porch as I don't want her listening in, yet she decides to follow me as she wants to find out where the key is. She did find it and came and told me she hid it in a green tea cup with one of those ceramic kettles on the top. Smart girl! And when she came out and told me, she also said, "I hate so and so (my ex boyfriend), which tells me she was trying her hardest to listen in. That's a kid for you. They see you taking it out to the porch and they immediately want to listen in and hear what you are talking about.
Well, tonight I will be back at my apartment and hopefully all will be quiet. My ex husband (we're separated) thinks this guy probably won't be back. I'm sure the cops are onto him and he will be probably making sure he stays away if he doesn't want to get caught. I do think he came back though later Friday night after things died down and the girl wasn't there. He may have wanted to get some things. Who knows.
Anyway, when a dispute like this happens, you do need to know when to make the call, be cautious and take all the necessary steps to make sure that you are safe.
And if you get threatened for some reason, that is when you make the call to get a restraining order. But only cross that bridge if it comes or if you positively know you have had a physical threat as family court or the cops won't get a restraining order on anyone until there is actually a sign of a threat of any sort.
And until you get one, keep positive that it won't happen and go about your life, but be cautious at the same time as you don't know what other people are capable of. Even people you know. It can happen to anyone.
And here I am thinking, all I want is to be safe so I can continue to be the mother of my four children, a friend to all I know and to finish those novels. I don't want my life being snuffed out because of someone else's domestic dispute that gets out of control.
Jennifer Jo Fay
Copyrighted October 14, 2012