I was reading this poem that kept popping up on my timeline on Facebook. I know, I know, I hardly ever read poetry because I never really understand it. But, what can you do if it keeps popping up? If you do not read it, you will be left behind and cut a sorry figure on Social media...what this fear of being out of the loop can do to people, you ought to know by now.
Anyway, now that you are done with the heckling, let me get back to that poem. The chap was lamenting how people kept telling him 'This too shall pass' or 'These things are sent down to test you' and 'You should have done this or that or the other' when all he wanted them to do was to show that they cared.
Now THAT is something that I can understand. I, too, want people to show that they care for me. Instead, what do I get?
I am just about to press the bell of my friend's house, to which I had invited myself for dinner, when I hear voices from inside.
"You should have told him we had to go out for a wedding, when he called up and told you he was coming for dinner."
Do I hear my friend say, "Don't tell me what I should have done?" Nope, the ass, he grunts in acknowledgement and says, "I know. It just did not strike me at that moment."
Or witness this scene as I am watching TV at a cousin's place while he and his friend are chatting in whispers in a corner.
"Never mind. This, too, shall pass."
"But when? He is not even saying when he will go."
I am sure that even my parents were told, "These things are sent down to test us" on one of those various occasions when they have had to grapple with the idea of what they had let themselves in for when they birthed me. And have replied, "This is too hard a test. I did not sign up to be a martyr."
So, yes, as usual, I lament that this thing that the poet said did not apply to my own circle. THEY never were angry with the people who told them all those things that the poet was so worked up about. Instead, all the ire seemed centered around me.
And, as usual, my friend replies, "Have you ever cared for anyone? Seen how it looks from their point of view? If you have shown more empathy, then they too may like you better, may show you more empathy."
I like that!! I mean, come on, I did not see that poet sort of think that, maybe, this was how those people knew how to show that they cared. That they did not know a better way. So, he can seek empathy without showing any and people will praise him and share him all over the place.
I, too, am like that chap. So busy looking for empathy that I cannot be bothered to show any. So, why pick on me?