Entry #27 – Boredom and Confusion

Posted on the 16 October 2012 by Harper

7:54pm

Dear Diary,

There’s a few things I want to mention here. One is still regarding my ex. I talked to her best friend through Facebook last night, and said that I wanted to end things on a good note. Well she was all nice about it and said she’ll talk to her about it. I hope so.

And now, I know no matter how much I try, no matter how much I want these feelings to go away, I’ll always still have some feelings for my ex. Despite all that’s happened, I want her back, but the thing is, I know I can’t. And even if she did ask for me back, my pride may stand in the way and I’d say no. It’s just a love story that failed horribly and was never meant to be.

I still haven’t booked my plane ticket back home now. I know I should – the plane ticket prices are going way up now. But I don’t want to deal with it at the moment. I have too much on my mind to be worrying about going home.

I texted one of the flats that I wanted to stay in next year but the flatmates said they didn’t want me. Well, that’s a shame. And another depressing thing for me. I would have loved to live with them next year, they’re like the most decent people and have the most decent flat to live in. Now I’ll have to find another one.

I honestly don’t know how I got in this situation I’m in. I was on top of the world, and then when my ex broke up with me, I fell from grace so hard that I sometimes just want to cry myself to sleep. I have no best friend, no-one to talk to about all of this. I feel so alone in the world.

Exams in 3 days. Yay me.

Yours, -Harper