Everything Changes

Posted on the 25 January 2017 by Ballerinablogger
Well, the cast list is on the wall and I can officially say that I will be dancing seven shows of Swan Lake as Odette/Odile with the Maine State Ballet. I have been writing about rehearsals for some time now, but now I know the dates I will be performing are as follows:
March 24th and 25th at 7:00pm
March 26th at 2:00pm
April 1st at 2:00pm
April 2nd at 2:00pm
April 8th at 7pm
April 9th at 2:00pm
I may have mentioned this previously, but originally I was to split the twelve performances right down the middle with a fellow MSB principal ballerina. For reasons that I would rather keep private, she is not longer going to be able to participate in the production, and has dropped out of the performance. We are unsure as to whether or not she will ever rejoin the company, but we are pushing forward in her absence. The show must go on.
I don't know if she reads this blog or if she will ever see this post, but I just want to publicly say how much I am going to miss having her around. We are very different people, but we had this in common. I can say in earnest that her presence in the company made me a better dancer, that her beautiful and delicate style taught me grace, and that her incredible work ethic made me work harder. I have noticed there is a sense of hollowness without her around. I'm not sure if anyone else feels it too, but every time I walk by her dressing room, I feel a pang of loneliness.
This makes me the only active principal ballerina at Maine State Ballet (the infamous Janet Davis - former prima ballerina - is still dancing, but has retired from principal roles). I'm the last female "adult" in the company. The only woman that is out of school and juggling the "real world" with a dance career. It's not that I felt overly competitive with my fellow principal ballerina, but her presence certainly made me push myself further. Now I must turn that motivation inwards. It's lonely at the top.
I do hope the looming mammoth of a task that is Swan Lake, will really bring our company together. Rehearsals are gaining speed. More updates soon 💓