Eviction

We have always faced the threat of eviction from our land. Why this should have been so we still do not know though the threat has been in existence for nearly thirty years. The land was unpromising, prone to frequent inundations and earthquakes. Yet, there was someone who wanted us out of this place. We are a very tenacious tribe. Other tribes had periodically settled adjacent to us but had been unable to stay rooted. Our tribe has proudly withstood every attempt at uprooting us and has managed to retain hold of the land that we had claimed long ago. There were some among us who said that the inundations and the seismic activity were also part of the attempts to evict us. There are always such madcap conspiracy theorists in any tribe. If we were to believe them, we would have to believe that the Cosmic All was against us, for who else has the ability to flood and convulse the land? Yet, it is true that the attempts at evicting us were always made when the seismic activity was strongest and the land was practically submerged under water. It only goes to show how evil the beings were that acted for their gain against beings in distress. There were some who said that our sins were increasing and, thus, the Cosmic All was angry with us, though how beings rooted to their land could sin beats me. It is true that the seismic activity had increased radically in the recent past so much so the weaker members of our tribe had been evicted. The scientifically minded among us said that the world was passing through a tunnel periodically and that was causing the increased seismic activity. Maybe the latter were correct since it grew very dark at these times but, if so, I prefer to believe that the Cosmic All was testing us. The historically-minded among us also said that the water that inundated us was cleaner earlier and that it was getting more and more poisoned. They were probably right since I could myself remember the times when my roots were unshaken in the periods of inundation. Nowadays, I find my hold terribly weakened and it takes all my strength of will to hold on to my land. “Soak no more”, said the Cosmic voice and I rejoiced. We had been tested and we had come through it all. I had periodically heard the cosmic voice say “Soak” just before the land was inundated. So, now the Cosmic All had relented and we would enter His Paradise. When the two giant beings with five tentacles each came towards me, as they usually did, the land had not been inundated and the beings let go without even a single attempt at evicting me. The land became dark. What was this? The land was getting inundated! Oh! Cosmic All! Was that declaration a lie? Small colorful beings settled in on me. The seismic activity started. Why was I vibrating like this? My hold is getting too weak and I am losing consciousness. It IS true, then that the Cosmic All had no liking for us. You cannot evict me! I have my tenancy rights! No! No! Noooooooooo! * * * * * * “Thank God all the grease stains are gone with this Surf Excelmatic! Though I will never understand why your Dad still wears these old Khakhi trousers!” “He wooed Mom when he was wearing these. So, he has a sentimental attachment to these trousers. Let us hope that he had no sentimental attachment to the grease stains as well. Otherwise, we will never hear the end of it!”