But, there comes a time when we have to stop sharing the links. I haven't been sharing my links from The Authentic Life Blog to FB for a while. Probably in the last two or three months, I have only shared one to three times. But, what they have still been seeing are my links to my articles I write on Triond.
I finally had to disconnect that from FB too yesterday. There of course a handful of a few FB family that ended up wrecking it for the rest of the FB family and friends. However, if any of them still want to read, all they have to do is google me online and my blog will show up and it wouldn't be too hard for them to find me on Triond either if they really want to still read my writings.
Here is the reason why I decided to end the links. Recently, I broke up with a boyfriend, whom within the last few weeks I discovered he cheated on me the whole time we were dating with a neighbor. And there could also be something sneaky and shady going on with a business running out of his house that I didn't know about. He might be in trouble down there and I'm staying out of it. No more contact, but he will find out I know as I sent him a letter (with a message on back of envelope: Who and what is so and so, you cheater, you are a player. I figured he wouldn't open the letter so at least he is going to see that. And I called the woman's business number and bluntly said who I was and who is she? Later, her husband called me and he supposedly didn't know what was going on and they have three kids. Well, the weirdest thing was the husband claimed that my ex boyfriend's address was exactly the same as his. How could that be? How could both have 7B? I went down all year and know for a fact mine's was 7B. Why would this husband say his was 7B too? Plus when I googled my ex, this woman who is associated with my ex boyfriend, her address is also my ex's address and I googled her business and it is also 7B on Manta. So her business is definitely running out of my Ex's home. Plus, her phone number was also my ex's and she also had the separate business phone.
The husband and I had a nice phone call and of course he had questions for his wife of 13 years. But that is their business. He didn't seem to know about her business of course. That is if he wasn't lying to me too.
Well, the detective in me just couldn't figure out why they had the same exact address. I mean, it was clearly my boyfriend's address when I went down there with all his things in it and his pets.
I had already searched Whitepages where I found out the info. Then I decided to search a local site where they all live. When I searched their addresses there, it is in fact 4B where both the husband and the wife live and not 7B. This tells me that the husband was lying and wanted me to believe that they all had the same exact address. He knew he lived in 4B. Come on.
So, in fact they lived two houses down and it must have been so easy for her to just waltz on over and get her fix and come back to her kids. Anyway, I found out and am almost 100% fact that my ex cheated on me with this woman.
I told my siblings and others that I needed to find this out, that I had a right to find out. As I told them, what if I catch something from this? Then I make it my business to find out and get myself checked out, for which I have thank god.
So, now that I found out, I am done and my ex will get his letter, I'm sure he's received it by now and the phone call to this couple has also been discovered. I may have exposed him and it's going to be his own damn fault. He got audited end of this summer and has been audited before, so whatever he has done, it's his problem not mine. It's none of my business and I don't want to know. But that is also something he hid from me. He evidently has some involvement in something and he decided to hide the whole thing from me during the relationship. I would suspect that he and this woman are involved in it and probably some messing around too, I'm sure. It explains the no intimacy with me for ten months and the short phone calls.
And I also discovered he lied about a sister dying in the hospital as I discovered she was perfectly fine and posting on FB when she should be on life support. What a terrible thing to lie about, and he lied about getting stuck out of his car for two days with his cell inside. I got locked out of my car once at a gas station and I got back in within the hour.
What I need to watch out for is to lock my doors and windows. He verbally abused me and showed some aggressive anger, and I only knew him for a year, so I don't know what he could be capable of. Most likely I have nothing to worry about, but a friend said he could decide to come after me blaming that I wrecked his life. What if the other woman didn't know about me? And this husband could be involved too.
Anyway, I'm done. What my FB family and friends didn't realize is that it takes time to get over a relationship and when there's abuse it takes longer.
And they just don't realize that I needed to know some things in order to get closure. And I found them for the most part and will get my closure. It will come.
Here's the other reason though for not sending links to FB.
I write articles and recently I've been writing articles about relationships, and things like that. Well, I got quite an earful from my siblings and some others because they were reading just my titles from Triond and thinking, Here she goes writing about herself again. Well, I've been getting sick of it. And I private messaged my brother something lengthy and he relayed it to my sister who isn't on FB and he failed to tell her it was a private message and not posted on my FB wall. I had to explain to her that I private messaged him and called him a nit wit. LOL. And then she said that my brother relayed to her that I had posted a link How to Recognise the Signs that he is Lying to You.
She went and read it and said it was quite lengthy.
Here's what I told her. It's an article, and it didn't have me in it at all except at the end, stating I've been through it too. The article explained all the signs to watch out for and in general discussed the issues that we all face.
They just don't get that these are primarily articles, yes, I've been through it too, but it's still an article.
Hey, if some woman can write a book called, All Men are Jerks until Proven otherwise, why can't we publish our articles and posts about it too? We are probably helping people somewhere by sharing our knowledge of what we went through, what we didn't go through and it's helping. It's an article.
I had to post some clear ups on FB yesterday and told them all that there will be no more links and the reasons why.
This is why it is important to decide if we want to share our stuff with family and friends. It can create hard feelings, they may not approve, and if they don't they are going to bluntly say it and it will offend us and cause a rift quite possibly.
The other fact is that they don't have a right to tell us not to write articles about relationships and all these hot topics that across the board the world is seeking out on the Internet our articles that are going to perhaps help them solve their problems.
There are many bloggers out there that dedicate their blogs to relationships and advice on all these things.
We should have the right to our freedom of speech and we should be able to have the right to write on any topic we want.
But, I've decided that they just don't get anymore links as they are misinterpreting the fact that they are articles and they read just the titles and believe I am just crabbing when in fact they are articles.
And yes, even articles will have a little bit of me in them. That's a given.
And, I am done with my ex and am trying to move on, but the time it will take to completely move on will eventually come. I've moved on in lots of ways but it will take time to get over verbal abuse and just getting used to being out of the relationship and getting closure. A friend of mine said there is no time limit on this. It can take a day or so for some, and it can also take up to a few years for others.
It just depends on the person. And when we discovered we have been lied to and cheated on, that takes a little time too.
Right now, I'm just moving on and am going to enjoy my holidays and look forward to a nice break away from a man. Who knows, maybe sometime early next year I will be ready.
So, my children are my priority and working on my novels. The Glorious Money Tree is progressing nicely and so is Good Girls, Bad Girls.
I might eventually vent about my recent ex in a new novel, but that's last on my plate. I do have my title picked out though and the name of my jerk.
Five Women, One Man
My jerk will be called Larry Lipstick! I got laughing in the car one night on thinking up that name. One of my cousin's daughters gave me the idea to vent about him in a novel and suggested that he be involved with five women and yes, have him get caught! And it's constructive writing.
I love the idea.
I vented about him privately in Evernote last week, which I needed to do. So if any of you need to vent, I like Evernote. I downloaded it and plan to use it for all kinds of things, knitting patterns I create, research for the novels and just anything. It can be like a bookmark for things and you can title them so you can find them easily.
At first I was going to create a file for my research, which I did start, but I am liking this better for that.
But I am also so glad I decided to stop the links to FB. It was causing me a lot of grief which I do not need to hear, when in fact FB family and friends should be supportive and not be the other way around.
For any of us posting things on FB, we have to also be careful as once we post it, we end up getting sometimes words we don't like from them. Here's the other thing. If it's them in a problem of some sort, they should stop and think about how they word things to us, as what if they find themselves in our shoes and someday they are asking for our advice on something? Karma will come back around to bite them.
Jennifer Jo Fay
Copyrighted October 14, 2012
I love this one.