Faint Of Heart, What Has Gotten Into You?

Today my heart is heavy. It's the Christmas season and I have so much to be thankful for. A wonderful, supportive husband who loves me unconditionally, a beautiful, talented daughter who brightens my every day, great friends who have come to my aid on more than one occasion, a home to live, food to eat, and clothes to wear.    Yet, somewhere, in the deep cavity of my spirit, I feel a loneliness and realization of my many shortcomings. I've struggled spiritually this year more difficult than any other. I've tried so hard to bury the truth with my stubborn character, yet I'm proven over & over again that this life is not meant to be endured alone. 
There are times in our lives when we lose our focus and forget that there is a God who is all knowing, who carries us when we cannot bear to stand. I have lost my focus lately and God knows this. He chose a vessel close to me and, through her asked, "O faint of heart, what has gotten into you?" 
Lord, the simple answer is... me. I've gotten into me. I've gotten to me. I have let myself down. I have given up on life. I have given up on me. I've lost my faith. I've lost my way.
In Psalm 139 (KJV), David says that the Lord knows all our thoughts and doings. It's evident in this scripture that the Lord stands by us with absolution in all things and in all places. Though I may have let myself down, given up on life, and lost my faith, my God has not. He leads and guides me always. Though I feel lost, I shall take comfort in knowing I can be found.

1 O Lord, thou hast searched me, and known me. 2 Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandeth my thought far off. 3 Thou compasset my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. 4 For there is not a word in my tongue, but, O Lord thou knowest it altogether. 5 Thou hast beset me behind and before and laid thine hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.  7 Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? 8 If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell behold, thou art there. 9 If I take the winds of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; 10 Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me. 11 If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.  12 Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee. 13 For thou has possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother's womb. 14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. 15 My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.  16 Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. 17 How precious also are thy thoughts unto me O God! how great is the sum of them! 18 If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee. 19 Surely thou wilt slay the wicked, O God: depart from me therefore, ye bloody men. 20 For they speak against thee wickedly, and thine enemies take thy name in vain. 21 Do not I hate them, O Lord, that hate thee? and am not I grieved with those that rise up against thee? 22 I hate them with perfect hatred: I count them mine enemies. 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: 24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.