Fanfare

Posted on the 19 November 2012 by Violetmudrost @letters2gabriel

Dear Gabriel,

Tonight finds me physically exhausted but mentally invigorated.  This morning’s run was surprising, if nothing else.  I remembered while I was bouncing along the pavement that I feel fierce when I run.  Not entirely sure how I feel about that.

I’ve spent the better part of a year trying consciously to subdue the fierceness within me.  Passion is one thing, but in my last life I was wife-beater who shot his greatest love.  Not so sure that fierce is what I want to bring to the surface just now.

On the other hand, running is a way to channel fierceness into something that can be used for good.  In other words, strong and heady energy is directed at cleansing the body, not at being violent towards someone else.  That’s progress, right?

So when I began my run this morning, I wasn’t sure if you’d be there.  Turns out that I probably wouldn’t have been able to feel you if you were, because all of the sudden, I was there, in big bold words shouted across my psyche:

HOWDY HEYA VIOLET!! IT’S BEEN A WHILE!  A VERY LOOOONG WHILE!  WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?  WELL NEVERMIND… WELCOME BACK!!!! *OBNOXIOUS CHEERING AND ENTIRELY UNNECESSARY CROWDED CELEBRATING*

And then it was a huge marching band that stepped across my soul, with flags and sousaphones and brightly colored uniforms.  A parade, a celebration, a fanfare of my reunion with myself followed me the whole time.

So, no you weren’t there.  Not where I could see at first anyway, but as my run progressed and I saw the crowded gaiety in the window of my mind, I caught a glimpse of a familiar energy; snagged a spot in the drum line, did you?  Pulling faces at me, watching to see if I’d notice.

I’m touched that you didn’t want to miss the shindig, though I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, party animal that you are.

Thanks for not being front and center; today really was about me — not us.

Still, it means the world to me that you would want to share in my personal victories.  I hope my energy does the same for you.

And now I’ve got to rest my body if I’m going to be able to run again tomorrow with the same enthusiasm as I did today.  I took some pictures while I was on the road and I thought I’d share them here.  Enjoy, old friend.  And thank you.  Today is the best day of my life.

Seen in the cracks of the sidewalk as I stretched my legs.

Halfway point, with the marching band not far behind.

I love the juxtaposition of the billboard in the background and the plant in focus. Mother earth wins.

And now, a couple of photos I took today at work.  I so love this new camera.

Tuesday’s winter coat. She’s so regal.

I always see these little box elder seeds at work and wonder when they will take flight.

I don’t know what Mom’s bush did to deserve a wallopping from Phil, but he gave that poor plant what for.

Martinmas Day lantern. Remember when we painted lanterns two years ago?

I’ll see you in the crowds, ami.

Yours ever,

Violet

© 2012