Diaries Magazine

Feeling Tired and Tongue-tied

Posted on the 24 April 2013 by Jane @Jane_PlanetBaby

Feeling tired and tongue-tied


Hello lovely Planetarians. I am really struggling here. This popping-my-head-back-over-the-parapet business to restart blogging is confounding me. For the first time ever, I don't know where to start. The challenges life has been throwing us lately have left me unsteady on my feet. And this bloggy caper, which always came so readily to me before, is no longer familiar territory.
I miss it.
And I miss you, too.
I don't mean that in a melodramatic, overly familiar way. I mean it most genuinely. I treasure the support you Planetarians gift to me, in so many ways and places. I have only been visiting your blogs fleetingly of late and am missing sharing your latest tales.
Most of all, I am missing being a good friend to so many of you who have been just that to me in recent times.
I wish I could offer all you more but right now, I need to conserve my energy to focus on our family's immediate needs.
I am really tired. Bone-achingly so. Long-time Planetarians will know just how challenging the last 7 years have been since we arrived on Planet Baby. The pace has been unrelenting. And the hurdles keep popping up. I loathe running and hurdling is even less my style. But those hurdles continue to appear, just as I'm gaining some momentum.
And so I raise my right leg yet again, trying not to trail my ankle, straining forth to mount yet another one.
At the moment, I feel like I have more problems than I could poke a stick at. I've struggled to work out how to articulate this to you. I don't wish to whinge or make out that my problems are any greater than anyone else's. Far from it. I guess it's just part of my 'keeping it real' motto.
But, and there's the rub, I also feel tongue-tied. There are so many things I'd like to share with you about how we're faring right now but so many of these tales are not my own to tell. So I can't.
Here's a snapshot of life on Planet Baby at the moment:
  • Mr PB's health is slowly improving. The job hunt continues.
  • He is still working his casual night job. It helps but he's been taking on extra shifts. He's not getting enough sleep. Never a good move.
  • Our finances are extremely tight. I can't express how much.
The pixies
  • It's school holiday time. The days are getting shorter and cooler. That means more time indoors for the pixies. The issue of the appropriate amount of screen time for them is vexing us no end. 
  • Between the pixies, we are seeing an ophthalmologist, child health nurse, physiotherapist, speech pathologist, occupational therapist and visiting the Parenting Centre to learn the '123 Magic' course. 
  • Putting said course into action, and sticking with it, is hard yakka. Especially when Mr PB and I are both tired and stressed.
Planet Joy
  • Planet Joy is tootling along nicely. But I have so many more ideas and hopes for it. It has so much potential that I long to fulfill. I'd love to find a business mentor to help me write a business plan and help me find the people who have the skills I lack in photography, styling, merchandising, social media and marketing. The whole small business caper, actually.
  • Trying to get a small business off the ground with 3 young children, an unwell husband and difficult financial straits is proving quite trying. Not to mention tending to our marriage and trying to make sure I don't slip back into depression.  
Hmm, sounds a tad grim, doesn't it? No wonder I'm tired. Thankfully, I am thoroughly enjoying the challenges of Bikram yoga. I've been attending 4-5 times a week for the past 6 weeks, thanks to Romy's encouragement. It's starting to work wonders with both my body and mind. Will fill you in soon about it.
This post is a bit of a meander. But it's where my mind's at right now. I hope I've filled in the gaps a little without disclosing too much.
Finally, thankyou for all your kind words and actions in recent times, especially all the emails which I've been struggling to answer. I can't express how grateful I am for every effort you make to contact me. I am trying to catch up on the backlog.
So I am back blogging. Please just bear with me a little longer while I get my rhythm back!
And since it's been ages since we've properly caught up, why don't you ask me some questions - I'd love to answer them in some blog posts. What do you say? Photobucket

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