Creativity Magazine

Find the Food in Every Situation

Posted on the 04 October 2015 by Abbyhasissues @AbbyHasIssues

I’m pretty sure there are two kinds of people in this world, and both probably annoy me in some way. But for this post, I’ll say there are people who cut their sandwiches diagonally and those who are wrong. 


Don’t ask me why, but it tastes better that way. When I see someone just pick up a sandwich and eat it without a) cutting it in some way or b) actually enjoying what they’re eating and just scarfing it down, I get twitchy. 

There are also other weird things I do, many of which I won’t mention for fear you’ll never come back here again.

But I eat most things out of bowls–in part because it makes it less likely I’ll spill something on myself; I prefer plastic spoons for some reason; I like to eat the top layer of lasagna noodles first and then the rest of the piece; when I have something with multiple parts like a big bowl of goodness, it’s veggies, then protein (like beans) and then the rice/farro/grain, etc. 

So, that’s the short list. But before you think I’m a nut, you should know I’m not alone!

I was on Reddit for work and came across a thread asking about unusual food habits. Behold the neurotic noshers…

I first eat everything that I don’t (really) like and then move on to the better stuff. And when I’m almost done I eat the thing that I like the most.
It’s kind of a reward for myself for eating crap that I don’t like, like dessert!

I only eat with plastic utensils, even in restaurants.

I can’t eat a swiss roll without unrolling it. First you peel off the layer of chocolate icing and eat it, then you eat the roll by unrolling it, and you’re left with the center as a skinny little log full of icing.

My co-worker 1.) Takes his sandwich out of the fridge. 2.) Removes the single slice of swiss cheese. 3.) Eats his sandwich. 4.) Places the cheese slice on a plate. 4.) Puts this in the toaster oven until melted. 5.) Proceeds to eat the cheese with a fork and knife. Mitch if you are reading this, IT’S WEIRD.

I also can’t eat certain things without a specific beverage. Buttered toast goes with tea, peanut butter on toast goes with coffee, Chinese goes with cider, etc.

I like to eat popcorn with chopsticks so that my fingers don’t get dirty.

Skittles, M&Ms, etc. have to be divided and eaten in a certain order. My preference for M&Ms is brown and orange last.

When picking up a hamburger, it’s important to flip it upside down, then take the bite out of it. I find it less messy and it tastes better because the condiments to touch your tongue a lot sooner.

I have to shake every non-carbonated beverage before I drink it. Even water.

I first eat a small amount of each component to determine how tasty they are. Then I’ll eat them in round-robin style until there is the exact amount of each component that will make one final perfect bite as the last experience of the dish.

I like to tear a Twinkie apart lengthwise (the top rounded part, to be exact), tongue out and eat the filling, then enjoy the cake part very last.

I eat only half of the sandwich, then take apart each individual ingredient and eat them separately. I do this for all sandwiches. Burgers, cheesesteaks, wraps, whatever. It must be made into a whole then broken down again.

I peel and eat the crust off Chicken McNuggets before eating the actual chicken.

I can not eat a Twix without disassembling it as I go. First I’ll eat the chocolate, then I’ll eat the caramel, and finally I’ll eat the cookie. 

I’m the weird compartmental eater that always eats the sides last. So using the burger and fries example, I eat the burger, then the fries, then I drink my drink. Very rarely will I take a sip of drink while eating, but for the most part, the drink is last.

People always look at me like I’m insane when I eat pancakes. I eat the center and leave the outer edge. I just prefer the middle part. It’s softer.

After cooking the Pizza Rolls, insert a Cheez-It into the little slit that opens up during the cooking process–soft and crunchy.

I like to put ketchup on my french fries individually–just a line of ketchup down each fry. It’s time consuming, but somehow relaxing in a way.

Pop-Tarts – Break a pastry in half, then the half in half, then eat the quarters in two bites with milk for each. Repeat. 

Rebuttal: Almost. You have to nibble the crust off, then carefully separate the top from the bottom using a sliding motion. Then you eat the bottom, leaving the glorious frosted top for last.

I carefully take the chocolate off of a Three Musketeers bar, one side at a time. It’s extra special if I manage to pull off an entire side in one piece. After eating the chocolate pieces, I proceed to roll the fluffy filling into a ball with my hands and eat that in one bite.

I eat tacos from the top-middle part and work my way down from there.

With Reese’s Cups I nibble around the whole outside and then eat the middle, and when I eat a hamburger, I eat all around the outside as well so that my last bite has all of the good stuff on it.

I can’t start eating unless I have something to watch. For example, I will sit with my food on my lap and not touch it until the credits have finished rolling. 

So, spill it–not the food, but the weird things you do with the food. 

Like the blog? Buy the books and cool things!


Back to Featured Articles on Logo Paperblog