So we've talked about How to Fight Fair and Romance, and now I'm back to talk about my vast knowledge on Balancing Life and Love. And by vast knowledge, I mean what I've figured out so far b/c I still have no idea what the heck I'm doing. (This one might be kinda short. You've been warned)
Here's the thing: life is crazy and complicated, and love is crazy and complicated. And putting the two together is just nuts. Good nuts, but nuts nonetheless. Joe and I are still trying it figure it all out. We still struggle with balancing our past pre-married selves with our post-married selves. Joe has more of a struggle with this than I do, and it's something we're working on all the time.
Open and honest dialog is how we handle it. That's really all you can do ;) For example: when we go home to NC, every Friday his parents cook out and buy a TON of alcohol and invite lots of people over. This was fun before we were parents. Now, this is a huge point of contention for us. He wants to hang out and get drunk with his buddies til the wee hours of the morning, and I'm like "um dude, no. we have a baby who needs to go to bed. drunk boys hootin and hollerin all night is not ok" See where our problem lies?
Fun, responsible Dada
When we go home, he tends to regress back to "Crazy fun College Joe" and this just isn't realistic for us anymore. Don't get me wrong, I like to have a good time! Going out and letting loose is fun, occasionally. We used to get in horrible fights over this. I'm talking I would leave and go stay at my parents, he would stay at his, and it was like we were visiting family separately. Totally insane right? We finally had what we call a "Come to Jesus meeting" about it, and we have temporarily found balance. Now he gets one crazy, no questions asked kind of night, and Charlotte and I get our responsible husband/daddy for the rest of the time. This may seem like a no brainer for y'all, but my husbands family does this EVERY Friday night, whether or not we're there. I didn't grow up in that world, so to me its totally not ok. No judgies, we were just raised differently, and now we're having to find the balance between what we both think is "normal".
He's not always a party boy ;)
I have no tips, or advice other than talk to your partner. Be up front and honest from the beginning about your expectations and the balance between life and love will come. Relationships are like living things, and should be treated as such. I have really enjoyed talking to y'all this month! And I really appreciate Melissa letting me take over her blog! I hope you've enjoyed what I have to say, and I hope to see y'all around! Please stop by and visit!
