I've caught myself a lot lately feeling a bit like all I do is be Mummy, clean, work, sleep and repeat. And whilst I love all of these things - being Mummy for obvious reason, sleep for obvious reasons, clean, because I actually enjoy cleaning most of the time and work, because I do something I really love. I do feel like there's an element missing. There doesn't seem to be much 'me time' in there and certainly not much social time, or even 'out of the house time'.
Asides from pre-school, family days on a Saturday and Logan's swimming group which his Dad takes him too. I try to make sure that I take the boys to playgroup on a Tuesday morning when I can. It gets us all out of the house and since speaking out about the loneliness I sometimes feel as a stay at home / work at home Mum over on my YouTube channel, I'm really trying to reach out and start talking first to people whilst I'm there. One big thing that my video's response taught me was that you never really know how other people feel, even if you think you have a pretty good idea. I realised that more people feel the same way or similarly than I'd ever realised and that really changed my perspective on things.
I've been feeling a little bit like there isn't always much time for anything else, but then even when there is, I'm not always quite sure what I want to do in 'my time'? Sitting flicking through social media accounts is something I enjoy, but I don't really want to sit for hours doing it until I'm ready to fall asleep.
Adam and I like to watch movies together in our evenings and we're big fans of The Walking Dead and Game Of Thrones and some other series's and we like to sit and talk and catch up after a busy day of being Mummy and Daddy. But we've both been feeling like we'd like to find something else to focus on when the evening hits, so I think that we're going to look into playing an old game that we used to play together on the computer when we were teens. It was always really nice to have that something that we were both into, that something that we could chat about whilst doing and that something that also provides escapism and 'me time' as well as 'us time'.
I think now that the weather seems to be getting a little warmer, things will start to feel a bit more balanced. Feeling stuck indoors due to horrible weather with two little people, no matter how much you adore them, does start to feel a little bit suffocating after a while. I honestly have never appreciated fresh air, the great outdoors and a nice bit of sunshine as much as I do at this time in my life. A little bit of sunshine makes everything feel better doesn't it?! And especially so as a parent! :)
I'm really looking forward to making more plans to explore new places as well as places that we found and that we loved from last year. Getting out for a bit, really feels like it helps break up the routine and as a stay at home / work at home Mum I always greatly welcome the change of scenery.
I think that that's why I've become so much more of a holiday type person. I was always quite a homely person and I never really used to 'get' the whole wanting to go on holidays thing, but now that I'm a parent, I totally understand the need and the desire to escape routine for a while and switch off from other responsibilities, to just focus on yourself and the people that make you happy and nothing else. We've got an all-inclusive holiday booked to Greece this year with Adam's side of the family and I really can't wait for it.
As a parent, I'm a big believer in never losing sight of myself and what makes me happy as well as always considering what makes my boys and Adam happy and working out how best to juggle all the day to day things that I need to do. Otherwise I think it might be a bit like driving a car without any fuel. My boys need me at my best and to be at my best I know that I need to always stay 'Me' as well as being 'Mum'.
