But here's the thing – I've discovered that even the tiniest pockets of mindfulness can make a world of difference. So, grab a cuppa (or a glass of wine, no judgment here!), and let me share some super quick mindfulness tricks that have helped me stay sane in the beautiful chaos of motherhood with older kids.
The "I Spy" Grounding Technique
Remember playing "I Spy" when the kids were little? Well, we're bringing it back, mum-style! When you feel overwhelmed (like when your tween rolls their eyes for the umpteenth time), try this:
Spot 5 things you can seeTouch 4 things around you
Listen for 3 distinct sounds
Identify 2 things you can smell
Notice 1 taste in your mouth
I tried this the other day when I discovered my 12-year-old had "borrowed" my favorite jumper and left it on their bedroom floor. Instead of losing it, I took a moment to ground myself. By the time I got to "taste," I was calm enough to have a constructive conversation about respecting others' belongings.
Mindful Tea (or Coffee) Moment
Let's be real – sometimes that first sip of coffee feels like pure magic, especially after a late night helping with homework or waiting up for your teen to get home. The other morning, instead of gulping down my tea while simultaneously checking school emails and signing permission slips, I took just 30 seconds to really enjoy it. I felt the warmth of the mug, breathed in the aroma, and savoured that first sip. It was like a mini-vacation in my kitchen!
Three-Breath Reset
This one's my go-to when transitioning from teacher mode to mum-mode. Before I walk through the door at home, I take three deep breaths:
Breath 1: Let go of the school day
Breath 2: Think of something I'm looking forward to at home (even if it's just Netflix after the kids are in bed!)
Breath 3: Set an intention for the evening (like having a meaningful conversation with my 9-year-old about their day)
It's amazing how just three breaths can shift my entire mood and help me be more present for my family.
Gratitude on the Go
During my commute (which, let's face it, is often my only 'alone time'), I play a little game. I try to spot three things I'm grateful for about my kids or our family life. Sometimes it's as simple as "my son remembered to take out the trash without being asked," "my daughter helped her brother with his math homework," or "we had a laugh together at dinner last night." It's a small thing, but it never fails to put a smile on my face and remind me of the joys amidst the challenges of parenting older kids.
Mindful Listening
This one's become crucial as my kids have gotten older. When they want to talk (which, let's be honest, isn't as often as when they were little!), I try to practice mindful listening. I put down my phone, turn away from whatever I'm doing, and give them my full attention. I focus on their words, their tone, and their body language. It's amazing how much more I pick up on, and how much more connected we feel after these conversations.
Your Mindful Mum Challenge:
This week, I dare you to try just one of these little mindfulness moments. Maybe it's savouring your morning coffee or practicing mindful listening when your tween or teen wants to chat. Notice how it makes you feel. And remember, it's not about being perfect – it's about finding those tiny moments of calm in our wonderfully messy lives with growing kids.
I'd absolutely love to hear which one you try and how it goes! Drop a comment below and let's chat. After all, we're all in this beautiful, chaotic journey of motherhood together, no matter how old our kids are!
Stay tuned for more mindful mom moments coming soon. Until then, breathe deep and remember – you're doing an awesome job.
K Elizabeth xoxox