The really exciting thing for me about Flat Martini traveling the world is how it gives me an opportunity to connect with my readers. Lynne Beaudoin is the perfect example of that! The poor woman is stuck in Michigan during one of the worst winters ever. Yet, she still found a way to show Flat Martini a good time – kudos to you, girl!
So without further ado, here’s Lynne’s adventure with Flat Martini!
It was a Wednesday when Flat Martini arrived at the Beaudoin household. I was somewhere in the middle of “ I’m ready for summer. NOW!” & “Yeah. I better get on the treadmill.” He was tucked away safe and sound but by his pale appearance I knew more than one postal worker had definitely felt him up on his long trip.
And how do you think I greet friends? By stuffing them with fried food and alcohol, of course! We struck an agreement that I would stay away from martinis and stick with the bourbon. There’s a bit of devil inside those drinks. They make your mouth say all sorts of interesting things. Most of which you will not remember in the morning.
Within a few days after arriving, he got to have the maiden voyage home in my new hot rod. And by hot rod, I do mean my shiny new red minivan. Heated steering wheel? I’ll take it. Heated seats? Yes. Please! Can I get a bathroom and live in it?
I threatened the kids with putting them in the floor compartments should they become whiny and unruly during long road trips. I mean, that’s what they are there for, right? They do not find me humorous. I’m not sure why. I think I am hilarious.
Since Flat Martini has become my “Shotgun Rider”, he has joined me several times at my favorite store in town. Some call it a liquor store but I call it my survival store. They sell me the goods that allow me to get through dinner time, weekends and the 5th consecutive snow day off. Everyone has their own survival store near them. It’s a place where “everyone knows your name.”
Cabin Fever is tough for all of us in Michigan but, when you have a sister like I do, she’ll show up for dinner and bring a good adult game along with her. Flat Martini took part in a very feisty game of Cards Against Humanity. Lucky for me, whatever happens between these walls, stays here. He may or may not have heard us say some pretty raunchy phrases.
That’s what it’s all about here. Whiskey, swearing & random sexual innuendos. We call it the “Red Light Special.” This is all after the kids go to bed, of course. I don’t think I can answer one more question on the things they may have heard coming from the kitchen.
All in all, I’m certain Flat Martini has enjoyed his stay at our 3 Ring Circus and somehow, managed to keep a smile on his face the entire time. Me & him are currently working on a deal to open a new age concession stand during those long weekend baseball tournaments. We would provide “supplies” (ie cocktails) to the over-stressed & overheated parents who so desperately need a smiling face and a cup full of something other than gatorade. Whenever they see the sign hanging, they’ll know their very own survival store.