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After the wedding, I was exhausted, drained, and all I wanted to do was sleep and watch Netflix. And so that's what I did for the majority of last week. And it was partially because, as I said, I was exhausted and drained, but also because every time I would open up blogger, I felt wholly unmotivated to write pretty much anything.
Lately, I've felt a little bit like I'm floating.
I've been looking for new job options, because I would really like to be at a job where I enjoy what I'm doing, I feel like I'm using and growing my skills and learning new and exciting things, and I don't dread my alarm clock going off every morning (although, admittedly, the fact that it currently goes off at 5am might have a little bit to do with why I dread it...). But the job options that fit that criteria have not been plentiful and I've been discouraged.
I loved all of the design work that I got to do for my sister's wedding. It was a lot of fun to get to pull out InDesign and design print stuff again (though I do love all the stuff I've done for my blog). And so that got me thinking along the lines of starting a print/graphic design business again, which is a thought that I entertained for a brief time a couple of months ago.
But I had to remind myself that as much as I love to design, what I really want to do is write eventually. If I started a graphic design business, that would take a lot of time outside of my current full time job, which would probably leave very little time for writing. And then what would happen to my graphic design business if I ever became successful enough to write full time? It just didn't seem worth it. And so while I would love a job with a company that allows me to design, starting a graphic design business is not for me.
The problem is, even though I've realized all these things, I haven't been able to shake this feeling that I'm floating.
So many of my friends are settling down in one respect or another. They're getting married or are already married and now having children. Or they've found a way to do exactly what they want to do relatively soon out of college. They're settling into a routine with people and with jobs and with life.
And here I am. Working a job that pays the bills, nowhere near marriage, and nowhere near doing what I really love to do. Just floating along. Doing...stuff.
I feel a bit like Jiminy Cricket. Like I'm stuck in a bubble, floating along, and my presence in this bubble is preventing me from getting down to business and doing what I want to do. Only, I'm not so sure how to pop the bubble.
Do you ever feel like you're in a bubble? Like you know what you want to do or where you want to go but you don't know how to get there?
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