Self Expression Magazine

Free Dental Care (aka The Chair of Torture)

Posted on the 04 October 2011 by Joblessandbored @UKunemployed

I just went to the dentists for a free check up (see here). I hate the dentists. I hate having my teeth poked, prodded and scraped. There have been times in the past that I’ve just stopped going for 5-6 years. I always brush twice a day and use mouthwash religiously to try and avoid having any reason to go there! It was quite a successful system and I only had my first filling a year or so ago, not long before I was 30, so I had a good run! Since then I have had to have another filling, but still, 2 fillings isn’t bad for a 31 year old.

I switched dentists because my previous was one was “a bit crap”. It seemed to be some sort of training ground for dentists that were new to the country and on my last visit they took a long time with my treatment as the dentist was teaching a trainee, while I sat there like a guinea pig being tested on, I couldn’t even squeak as there was a hand in my mouth. They weren’t speaking English either so I bet they were slagging my teeth off! How dare they! Bloody dentists. (Literally, the butchers!)

There is a fairly new dentists quite near to where I live so I transferred to that one. First impressions were good, they accept NHS patients, the waiting room looked new and clean, with comfy chairs and the staff were friendly. Although they were playing Radio 1 which didn’t seem to fit in with the atmosphere of the place. There was an old man at the counter trying to make himself heard and a middle aged businessman trying to read his morning paper, whilst a dubstep track was blaring out slightly too loudly. (This one to be precise: Gemini – Feel Me). I don’t mind a bit of Dubstep, not sure it belongs in a dentists waiting room though.

As far as I can tell, all dentists have two things in common: they like money and they like inflicting pain. My new dentist politely invited me in to sit on his chair, I looked at his tray of tools and wondered if he’s ever watched any of the Saw films. Open wide, and it’s time for the hook! Scrape, scratch, poke, prod, all while reciting a load of random numbers and letters. To be fair, it wasn’t that bad but the next bit was quite painful. Scaling. They use a kind of ‘ultrasonic instrument’ to knock/poke away any tartar from your teeth. I just read a bit about this and from what other patients are saying it either hurts a lot or doesn’t at all depending on any exposed roots (or something?!). Either way, my front bottom teeth were so sensitive it was sending shooting pains right up into my brain! Argh. I can still feel it an hour later.

When I had my fillings done in the past I used to sit in the chair in pain, thinking to myself “I have to pay him 40 odd quid to let him do this to me” and it really adds insult to injury, so at least this time I could re-assure myself with the fact that I wasn’t paying anything to get hurt this time. Unemployment has very few positive points, hard to tell if free dental care is one of them or not?! Bloody dentists.

Tar-tar for now!

Free Dental Care (aka The Chair of Torture)

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