Friday 21.09.2012

On my breakfast, grandma said to me:
-You didn’t want your mother to take to psychiatrist… He would have cured you.
I just wisely was quiet.
I succeed in what I what.

It was “Presentation of Mary” and the mines were about to go to Lesnovo. They waited opposite my house. Stanley was looking at me but didn’t say or gesticulate a thing to me. He thinks I’m crazy. I had failed to maintain the balance between craziness and normality. Maybe not spending time together did the job.

Sarah and Marlyn had come at grandma’s, so I went there. Sarah gave me a vital piece of advice:
-You will sit where there’s someone alone or if there are three males, ‘cos if they are 2 you won’t be able to separate them.
She didn’t have an opinion about when  accomplish my purpose – being friend with males. I gave myself a deadline until New Year, but it’s gonna be shorter, I know.

After Sarah left, M. was trying to impose a male’s stuff between us:
-Nick you should have studied for a doctor. For a gynecologist.
-No.
-Why not?
-Because it takes a lot of years to study.
-So what? You will finger the women… to see if they are pregnant. Where will you finger them?
He couldn’t dare this time. I could, but it’s not Christian at all and he wasn’t the person I’d be open intimately.
-I don’t wanna say.
-Say. We should talk things like this. We are males.
-I don’t care.
…referring to him as a person, not masculinity as gender.