So we are all a little bit skint these days. Being broke is becoming trendy, a but like having a decking fired or starting a blog. Every news report drones on and on with more miserable measurements of how fast the hand cart is hurling towards hell, but I have my own economic indicator.
Whenever I hit recession, depression or downturn - individual or global -I go back to considering going camping again, this happens about once a decade.
Camping is another one of those things that I enjoy the theory of more than the real experience, like massages, family outings and Arbroath smokies.
But camping, cheap, outdoorsy and away from technology - what's not to love. Well actually, quite a lot, in my experience.
The last time we tried it, almost ten years ago, the Panther and I ended up standing in a campsite surrounded by poles and tangled canvas, yelling at each other as fat rain drops started plopping on our heads. When we finally got the blasted thing up sleep was hard as the rain, flapping and crying children all competed with each other.
Yet, only the other day I found myself standing in Decathlon wondering whether the pop-up tents really were as poppy as they promised. I had to give myself a stern talking to and rush off to buy some gear for a different sport I don't actually do.
But unless I come up with a drastic plan, it's only a matter of time before there's just a deflated lilo between me and misery.
Then I noticed that Mumsnet has a home swap section. Ideal. I began flicking enthusiastically through the properties looking for something like ours, only somewhere we'd like to be for a while. There were listed buildings, mansions, thatched cottages, designer features, white carpets (good Lord), swimming pools, town houses, beautiful homes and even more beautiful homes.
Would the owner of one of these palaces want to swap with us?
Our listing would be something like this:
Available: five bedroom semi with lots of clutter. Original art on many walls (installations in honey and bogies), outdoor space providing scope for recreational gardening, plenty of toys and games guaranteed to lack pieces. Unruly pets and grubby children welcome as they will be unable to make matters worse.
Tempted? Form an orderly queue.
PS I should probably put some photos of the, ahem, finer features of the house up, but frankly it's too depressing to go and look for them because I'd only have to fight the urge to clean them.
