I used to be a perfectionist. But I'm not anymore.
I suffered with body dysmorphic disorder as a teen, seeing something that wasn't really there. Blowing things out of proportion.
I kept the house spotless - cleaning and hoovering everyday. Making sure everything was 'in it's place'.
Being a Virgo, it's probably just in my nature. But since having children I've come a long way from the perfectionist I once was. It's not just the lack of time to clean or to worry about how I look, it's because I've grown up. Growing up and becoming a Mother has shown me what really matters in life. It's not about a tidy, spotless home.
It's about a house full of toys and family mess - the result of a happy family who lives there and who calls their house a home.
It's not about looking camera ready all of the time, it's about letting my hair down and embracing who I am, make-up less or not.
It's not about caring if I'm pale or thinking/worrying about anything else that isn't perfectly perfect about my body, it's about knowing that the most important people in my life, the ones I really want to impress, my children and my Husband, adore me for me, they don't care what I'm wearing or not wearing, they don't judge me for that, they just care that there's a smile on my face.
I've noticed such a change in myself. Whilst I still insist on a clean house, family mess makes me happy. Perhaps strangely, It makes me feel content. Our home is full of happiness, full of love, full of a trail of toys where Ethan has been. A trail of cameras, cups of tea and cats from where I have been. A trail of Lego, card board boxes and more cups of tea from where Adam has been. And a trail of Muslin cloths, empty bottles, baby toys and dummies from where Logan, the littlest member of our family has been.
And I love it. I'm so happy that we live here together as a family. I'm so proud of our home, I'm so proud of the love and the happiness that lives inside of it.
Because our house is not really just a house. Our house is a home. Our home.
And I am so happy to no longer be a perfectionist, because honestly what a waste of precious time it was.
So thank you very much. But goodbye perfectionist.
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