Ode to Validity
(Inspired by a female’s life in general and Edmund’s ‘Nature’ monolog from King Lear)
Thou, Validity, art my goddess,
To thy law my image is bound.
My goddess, grant me a career so envied,
And perhaps an engagement in my mid to late twenties.
Intoxicate me with a double-take,
My goddess, grant me a wedding with a lavish cake.
Send me a husband, with a structured face,
and let the grinch-like green play the hero in my dreams.
Why dost thou deprive me of this life I seek?
When my dimensions are as well compact,
A Victoria’s Secret model – maybe not so that.
My mind is adequate, and my shape as true,
as that of a Dove commercial, an ambition not new.
Thou, Validity, am I not a goddess?
Why brand they us with beauty? With base? Breasts? A new face?
I can’t help but feel I have a used-by date.
Who, in the lusty stealth of state,
determines the means of these precedented scenes?
Oh, Validity, thou art a heartless wench,
You force me, I’m striving to be the very best.
Yet I am not finished, I am not done,
I’ll fight ’til the time for botox is none.
And as Time wraps his arms around my hour-glass figure,
He’ll dream of a life where my breasts are bigger.
And I’ll dream of a life where I look like her,
Until I’m told I’m beautiful, may you let it occur.
As to th’ beautiful. Fine word – ‘beautiful’!
Oh, Validity, grant me yourself.
Or just a skinny-armed picture, to put on my shelf.
Just a moment of your touch, ’tis all I seek,
An ounce of reassurance, I’ll have you only for a week.
Oh, Validity, you play hard to get,
Under this pressure, you have caused me such fret.
Yet I am ruthless, I am your slave,
I’ll follow you while I’m led to my grave.
Your talons are deep, and I’ll let them sink,
And I’ll tan my skin so it doesn’t look pink.
I am a prime candidate, my makeup is stealth.
My children at school, my Husband, good wealth,
Now, good Goddess, grant me yourself!