Gripes About Uni - TOO MUCH PRESSURE and It's Only the Third Fucking Week!

This is going to be a bit of a specialized rant about university and a couple of the issues that I'm feeling generally shitty about right at the moment. I know it's more dirge, but I'm sitting here ready to throw in the towel because of these massive motivational issues I'm having. There are three reasons that I'm not particularly keen at the moment, though I'm hoping in this writing that I'll be able to work around or through them. I'm a bit scattered at the moment but this is what I'm feeling:
I have come to the conclusion that I've become so insular that my ability to relate to other people is suffering. I sat in a class last week with 30 odd people in it and didn't talk to anyone the whole time. This wasn't particularly remarkable except for the fact that I was the only person like this. The teacher remarked that it was great to see everyone getting along so well so early in the term, and all I could do was feel completely detached from the whole crowd. I have no support from my family; my recent counseling sessions have really brought home that I am very different to them in a lot of ways, and we have trouble relating to each other. They can't see a reason for me doing the things I'm doing; I am studying things that they aren't interested in and don't want or need to get an understanding of. I'm very alone, and in a degree where being connected is everything, I'm finding it hard to not feel like a bit of a failure, a wierdo, and like I made a bit of a mistake in signing up for it. Which brings me to my next point:
Right now, I feel like this wasn't what I signed up to do. I've mentioned this before. I want to create content, get paid to do that, and basically hoover up all of the creative stuff that I can for inspiration for my own stuff. I want to tell stories and do readings and talk to other creative types. I don't want to be connecting other people to their information needs. Maybe I do, and I'm just having a hard time working through my abiding hatred of referencing for these assignments. I want to do things and get paid for them - things that involve using my mind like I have been told to from primary school, not things that involve me busting my arse and sweating like I've done for the last ten years. That galls me on some level as well. I feel more kinship with the dowdy old librarian that was the stereotype twenty years ago than this confident, motivated person that is being crafted before me. Maybe my perception will change. I'm still not sure if I will, though.
My final problem right now is that of public displays of my assessment. This is probably awfully crappy of me to bring up (and I suspect a part of my increasing introversion), but having to deal with scrutiny from so many people in such a public space is something that causes me a fair bit of anxiety. This is a pretty petty gripe, I know - it's not like I won't be scrutinized in public when I (hopefully) get employment in the sector I want. Hell, I want people to read my fucking writing and listen to me reading stuff - I can handle it in a creative arena, even welcome it. There's just something about having it happen when you're meant to be learning about something that worries me. I feel like I'm going to turn in a total piece of shit, get ripped to shreds for it, and that's not going to help my motivation. One of the options is to turn in a poster, and for some reason, I keep seeing a sheet of A4 paper coloured in with pencils and blue-tacked to a wall. Maybe I'm placing too much emphasis on the public aspect of it. I never used to give a shit about what others thought of me in this sort of arena - that was half the reason I managed to find my schooling previous to this such a breeze. Maybe I'm still getting used to the idea of having this sort of thing happen. I daresay that once I get myself a few more friends that I can relate to in my studies I'll probably be better off - at the very least, I won't feel so isolated.
That's about all for now. Just had to let off a bit of steam. I had an intense weekend, which I'll write about more when time permits. For now though, I just needed to vent.
Just a quick disclaimer: this has nothing to do with the staff or students of the place I'm learning at, nor even the subject material. They're all going well, and I understand the logic and reason for why things are the way they are. In and of themselves, I have no issues with anyone or anything there. This is more me wondering if I'm right for what's going on here. That's all.
Peace.