Self Expression Magazine

Guest Post : Idiots’ Guide to Gymming

Posted on the 07 July 2014 by Jairammohan

I am sure that all of us at some point or the other have at least contemplated joining a gym and exercising to get ourselves in shape, more so, if we work for the IT Sector and lead relatively sedentary lifestyles.

My favorite Guest Author now has been advised by his family doctor to hit the gym and get in shape to bring his cholesterol levels back to acceptable levels. And as is his forte, he shares us some interesting and howlarious observations about gyms in general.

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My study tour of the gym yielded many insights. Let me share them with you. Please ask your Supervisor at office to stop annoying you. Tell him that you are working on an important deliverable. Irresponsible, these supervisors, not letting you spend a few minutes educating yourself.

1. You must wear branded stuff only. Make sure that the logos are visible. If it appears too new, you will look like a L Board. So, there must be signs of wear and tear. I bought my gym attire in Saravana Stores. So, if you look closely, the logos will read as ‘Niky’, ‘Adhidas’ and so on. But, I get value for money.

2. The folks on the street will drink water from water bottles. In the gym, you use a sipper. Sipper is basically a plastic bottle. If it is meant for children, it has Doraemon sticker on it. If is for folks in the gym, it has a sports logo and is priced 3 times more.

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3. Should you wear close fitting clothes? Those of you who know about my six packs, would have expected me to flaunt it. But, I must admit that I actually disguise myself in loose fitting clothes. This is to avoid distracting all those young folks around me. I may have a body of steel, but inside me beats a tender loving heart.

4. I should however warn you that anything lesser than a 3/4 pants is a risk. This is especially if you wear torn socks like me.

5. When should you go to the gym? Never. Sorry, that is my frustrated real self speaking. Well, go whenever convenient. But, don’t end up having samosas after your gym work out. You might have as well stayed at home.

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6. Running on the treadmill doesn’t help you catch the Siruseri bus. What’s the hurry?

7. Weights in gyms are marked in kilos as well as pounds. One kilo is approximately 2.2 pounds. Use this confusion to advantage. Claim to lift 20 kilo weights when you actually do 20 pounds.

8. Grunt when you do anything. It is supposed to make folks around appreciate your enormous endurance levels.

9. Use your time in gym to good advantage. Watch TV, read the newspapers, drink water, appreciate the scenery and the designated 1 hour will pass in no time.

10. Want to know the best fitness routine? Give me a smile. There! That’s the best workout your face has got today.

10. Last but not the least, don’t ever blog about gymming in the official blog network. There are many fitness freaks blogging here who run marathons, climb mountains, ride cycles to work etc. They will give you an inferiority complex and a splitting headache.

Gymming can’t buy happiness, but Magnum ice cream can :D

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So now that you have been enlightened with the author’s views on gyms and gymming, I am sure you have your own gym stories to share. Go ahead and share them in the comments section :D


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