Written by Christina Franks of Raising Jonah - My Aspie Son
This week in the UK, a four-year-old girl was named Britain’s youngest iPad Addict. Currently receiving psychiatric treatment to stem her obsession with the device, her parents cite episodes of compulsive playing, often for hours on end, and massive tantrums when the device is removed. My response to this is, meh, sounds pretty normal to me.
My seven-year-old son Jonah has also found refuge in games, be it Moshi Monsters on the Apple Mac, Pokémon on the Nintendo DS (bought by grandma) and whatever the hell he plays on the family’s iPad Mini.
We veer between strict regulation of a half-hour session per day (not including TV – we’re not cruel), and letting him self-regulate – and giving ourselves a break. A high-functioning aspie boy, Jonah finds refuge in games. They keep his active mind and fingers busy, and give him a chance to recuperate from a difficult day of socialising at school. But they also can turn him into a right little what-name.
When he was four, we waged war on his DS because it made him unbearable. Already twitchy as a child, he would become agitated and distraught with howling tantrums whenever we took it away. But we stuck at it, and gradually he worked out the score. If he let it go peaceably, he could have it again. We eventually let him self-regulate and he quickly became bored by his games.
He practically cried when he unwrapped the iPad mini at Christmas. Ostensibly for the family, it was originally a gift from my husband to me, but as a consummate technophobe, I didn’t actually want it, (preferring a handbag and shoes) and willingly offered it up to the family, but particularly to Jonah. It offered free games, and the chance to be the same as his classmates at school, many of whom have their own personal device.
However, the obsession with gaming has spiralled, fuelled by my husband’s love of downloading free games, which Jonah becomes obsessed with until he masters them. Compliance with the half-hour rule has waned with our own lazy parenting and Jonah’s insistence on finishing his game which, generally, I allow.
But the tantrums have once again reared their ugly head, complete with cushion-throwing threats and a comedy fist shake, which I struggle not to laugh at, but which only makes him madder.
The article about the little girl was timely. We used it as evidence to prove to Jonah why too much screen time was bad. Jonah likes evidence. He was convinced and so consented to go to the park after school today for the first time this term, with his child minder. He did not make a fuss and did not even complain about the weather (this is Britain – the weather hasn’t exactly been playing ball).
I resolved not to let things slide just because sometimes it’s easier to let him game. Hopefully Jonah will rediscover the joy of the real life version, and recognize that the instant gratification of gaming doesn’t offer as much tangible joy as playing, which despite his social difficulties, he actually can do quite well, most of the time.
Has any gadget caused issues for your tiny loved ones? How was it resolved?
AUTHOR BIO
Christina Franks is a full-time working mom in London, UK. She writes over at Raising Jonah – My Aspie Son as Reprobate Mum and sharing her stories as she and her husband Tom raise two beautiful children, Jonah and Ava. Unfortunately for Christina, she’s already saying bye-bye to toddlerdom as the children hurtle toward the fugly tween years! Thank God I have 3 years to go, I’ll take notes from her stories. For more beautiful and honest stories from Christina, visit her at Raising Jonah - My Aspie Son.
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