What a whirlwind the last few weeks since Christmas have been! As expected cases of coronavirus increased by a lot and it left us feeling very worried about the boys returning to school, especially so as our area had been moved into a tier 4 area and the schools just across the border from us had all been ordered to close. The boys school was due to open despite being on the border and Adam and I were just not at all comfortable with it. Don't get me wrong - the idea of home schooling again didn't particularly appeal to us as we're not teachers and home is not their usual school environment and juggling working from home, with teaching and running a home and parenting is not at all easy. BUT it just didn't feel like the right and safe option, especially so as, because we work from home, we have the opportunity to have the boys at home with us.
And so we made the decision to contact the boys head teacher and ask if we could keep the boys home. It was one of the strangest emails I've ever sent to ask the head teacher of a school if we could keep our children home to keep them safe, but it just felt like the right thing to do. Fortunately she replied to us and was very understanding in her response saying that whilst she couldn't authorise their absences, we wouldn't be fined for keeping them off. And that was our decision made, until, the government decided a day later that there would be another national lockdown meaning that all the schools across the country would close again.
It was a relief to hear but also a disappointment. We know that the right thing right now is to stay at home to keep as safe as possible, but also the disappointment that comes with knowing that you're back into a lockdown, that the cases of infections and deaths are getting worse rather than better, that the pressure to keep your childs education going, their mental and physical wellbeing, your own mental and physical wellbeing, your job so that you earn money to pay the bills, the house and the life admin and everything else whilst being confined at home is back. It's easier and tougher at the same time this time around - we've done this before, we know what to expect so that makes it feel a bit easier, but also it's winter and freezing outside so the luxury we had before of going for a nice spring/summer walk or picnic isn't quite there this time and that's tough.
As has been the same throughout this entire pandemic, it can be hard to put into words how you feel. For me, as I've said before, I feel totally out of sorts and I'm not finding this easy, but yet I feel guilty when I complain out loud as I know how very fortunate I am to be able to be at home safe and well with my family. For now, the only approach is taking each day as it comes and hoping that by Spring things may well feel a little bit better. Maybe the warmer weather and the fact that more vulnerable and elderly people will have been vaccinated will help lower the cases? Maybe schools will open back up and it'll feel somewhat safe again like the few months it did last year. We can only hope right now and feel comforted by the fact that this vaccine does exist, so slowly but surely we will get there. This pandemic has certainly tried to teach us patience.
So here we go again - another national lockdown and another month or so of home schooling. The boys, bless them, have taken this all so well. Kids are great at that, they adapt so much better than adults do. They, Adam and the cats keep me smiling and for them I am so grateful.
Back to learning from home! It can be tough for everyone but we're trying to top put too much pressure on and instead focusing on something being better than nothing.