When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong -doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
**Today is July 12th. For most of you this is just another normal day, just another day at work, at games, at home, etc. But for me and B it's anything but a normal day.
A year ago today our lives changed. And we didn't even know each other.
I try not to talk too much about our past on the blog because for one, it's private, and secondly, WE try not to talk about it ourselves. It's poison in ways. It can make you feel anger/sadness/jealously even when it's about something you weren't even around for during the time it was occurring.
With that said, I think most of you know that B was married before he and I started dating, and most of you know that I was in a string of bad relationships, with the last one being the most mentally challenging. I think both of us were mentally abused, but in different ways.
Regardless of HOW it occurred, it did. And we felt like WE were the problem. It isn't a good feeling to know you are going above and beyond what you can do to keep a relationship turning, and still be told you are doing everything wrong and you are useless, crazy, psychotic, and stupid. Not to mention the names I won't dare repeat. It was pure hell.
So, why July 12th? Well.. That's the day that I made A pack the very last of his things and leave my house. This was after the last stunt he played on me when he publicly announced his mistakes he had made to me and toward me and "this time would be different" and I took the biggest chance and let him return to me and my home. And he did much more harm to me in that day than he did in the whole year leading up to that day. My soul was crushed. My heart was broken.
But don't feel sorry for me. My inner Madea got her groove on and the fire lit under my ass and I showed him the door out. I got to speak my mind and my heart for the first time ever. And I left NOTHING out. I wanted him to know he was a complete jackass to me, my family, my friends, my whole world. I wanted him gone. For good. Dead in my head.
B was a few miles down the road packing his stuff from his home with his ex-wife and going through far different emotions. He was sad. Very, very sad. I don't think it was over her, but over the disappointment of becoming "a statistic" like everyone else. Again, I won't go into many private details of his situation, but he stood by and took a lot more than I think any one of us would have. He remained in his marriage even when it was not a marriage, but merely roommates sharing a home.
July 12th was his day of his inner strength too though. He packed and moved out of their home. He changed all his bills, accounts, etc. before hand and had his mind made up that Tuesday, July 12th would be a day of change for him.
Yes, I'm saying that he and I both ended our "relationships" on the same day.
And want me to make this even cooler?
It was within two hours of each other. No lie.
He was probably pulling out of his former driveway about the time I was just being faced with A after he got off work.
I know, I know. It's bizarre. I can't make this stuff up. :)
So... with that said. B and I have decided that July 12th is OUR DAY now. Freedom day.
The day that led a good-hearted, love beaten, dependable beyond measure, emotional guy to eventually send a cautious, scared, emotionally drained girl a friend request on FaceBook that would change both of their lives.
Is it weird to celebrate the day of your former life being "over"? Maybe. But not when I know that the man I have celebrating with me has come down just as long of a road from hell as I have. And together our life is going to be in a direction that neither of us have ever known or experienced.
So, we may be pushing down 30's door.. but happiness never ever comes too late. Never.
B, baby, you are the love of my life. You saved me when I am not sure I could have saved myself. You have shown me that life still offers a beautiful road after a few miles in the blackest days. You are the perfect example of the man I have dreamed about since I was a little girl. You are the sunshine in my days. You are the first person that I go to in a crisis or exciting moment. You are the father of our future children. You are the sweetest face I've ever kissed. You are the best snuggler in the world. You make my house feel like a home. You bring about a family full of love. You are God's creation-for me. And I can never thank Him enough. I loved you before I knew you, I am in love with you now, and I can't wait to be 80 years old, holding your hand and still feeling the butterflies in my stomach that you still cause to this day. You have my soul.
So, if there is anyone out there reading this, feeling like you've been alone in the world and you might not ever find your true love. I'm living proof you need to hang on. God has NOT forgotten about you. Promise. Just give Him a little time. After all, it takes a detailed selection to find a woman/man who meets the pure love you need.
If you want to see our whole story, click the Love Story Tab above!