When you have found the partner of your dreams, you may want to take the next step and legally bind yourselves together. And in some instances, this perfect partner can already have a family of their own. Therefore, it can be a good idea to find ways to include your soon-to-be step-children in the planning of the wedding, as well as the day itself. While you may not be their biological mother, treating them the same way you do any children of your own, either present or future, can help them to feel acknowledged as a part of your family too.
Older step-children may feel unnerved about their father marrying a woman who isn’t their mother. While you may reassure them that you don’t intend on taking her place in their lives, they may also want to know that you do care for them, rather than simply viewing them as your fiancé’s baggage. One of the ways you could do that may be to allow them to help you choose some of the important aspects of the wedding together. Inviting your step-children tocheck out these wedding rings with you, and even give their opinions on some, could help them to feel like they are more part of the process. In addition to this, it could also be a fantastic bonding exercise for you all.
If you and your partner have opted towrite your own vows, this could also be used as an opportunity to be more inclusive to your step-children. While you may want the majority of the content to focus on your relationship with their father, it may be quite sentimental for them to hear a few sentences about the qualities that they have brought to your life, and any gratitude you feel towards their presence. This may help to alleviate some of the anxieties they may feel about their birth parent getting re-married.
At the wedding reception, it may be common for guests to purchase gifts, or give donations, towards your future. While gifts for the bride and groom may be commonplace, you might also want to consider a little token gift for the children too. By marrying their parent, you may have officially become their stepmother. Giving asmall gift that has some significance, such as a locket, watch, cuddly toy, or even a book, can help them to feel noticed by you. You may want to give this to your step-child while you are getting ready or after the ceremony. Depending on the child, it may not be a good idea to exchange this gift publicly, as they may feel embarrassed about all the attention, especially if you have a large number of guests.
Although the wedding may be primarily about yourself and your partner, it can have a colossal effect on any children from previous relationships. Making sure that you have included them in different aspects of the wedding could help them feel more involved, and even bring you closer together.
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