Spiritualism is a word that means different things to different people.
I've been what most would class as "spiritual" for most of my life.
During my childhood, I was drawn to stories about ghosts and was always deeply curious about what waits for us beyond this human experience.
At the age of 12, I was gifted a set of tarot cards along with a book about the art of divination. The gift came from my Mum...wrapped up in my stocking on Christmas morning, standing out quite starkly against the Mark Owen doll and Exclamation perfume I'd requested that year (Peak 90s!)
It baffles me as to why she chose this gift for me, as I'd later come to learn that she is personally quite terrified of tarot cards and mediumship...having been warned off it by her own parents. But I'm glad she did, as that gift sparked an interest in the mystical which has stayed with me throughout my life.
I've read tarot cards ever since then...in fact I still use that very same 27 year old deck, as tatty and tired as it now is. Over the years I've dabbled with lots of other things...Rune stones, bibliomancy, tasseomancy (tea leaves!), crystal scrying, dowsing...all sorts of fortune telling techniques, some with more success than others.
Through my teen years, I started to experience what I now recognize as spirit communication.
It started when I was around 14 years old...in the strangest of ways! This is a story that I both love and loathe telling, as it's so far removed from the spooky experience you might expect that it sounds plain ridiculous!
It happened at around 2 am. I got out of bed to nip for a wee, flung my bed covers back as always ...leaving my bed in disarray as I went to the bathroom which was in the room next to mine.
When I returned in my half-asleep state moments later, I stopped dead in my tracks. The bed that I had just got out of seconds before, which I'd been asleep in for hours....was perfectly made. Bedsheets pulled tight and smooth, tucked into the mattress with the corner turned back.
I'd never seen my bed made so neatly...this certainly wasn't how I usually made my bed, nor how my Mum did it and besides...everyone else in the house was asleep.
I'd like to say I was totally cool about it but in reality, I screamed! Woke everybody up, and my sister & I spent the night downstairs on the sofa completely freaked out.
From that night on, it became a regular occurrence. My bed would be mysteriously made for me multiple times every week, whenever I got out of it...it became a bit of a running joke in the family and we even gave the neat-freak ghost a nickname..Maggie.
Over the years, Maggie did a few other things around the house too....items I was looking for would randomly appear in the middle of my bedroom floor, things would go missing and then turn up in strange places, Maggie would apparently accompany us on holidays too as the bed trick would happen while we were staying in hotels...there were even occasions when I heard someone calling my name, when nobody was at home.
But despite all of this, none of us ever actually saw Maggie...the only person who ever did catch a glimpse was my then-boyfriend. He came to my house one evening when nobody but me was home, but I wasn't expecting him...I was sitting in my bedroom with my headphones on. I only knew that he was there when he rang my phone...when I answered the door he was really angry, shouting and asking why I'd ignored his knocking.
I told him I hadn't known he was there, that I couldn't hear him...he replied "But I saw you sitting in the living room. You were sitting right there in that chair looking at me while I knocked and knocked, then you got up and walked into the kitchen."
It hadn't been me he'd seen...but through our frosted glass he couldn't see a face, he'd assumed it was me as he knew I was home alone...what he'd seen was a figure in a long white dress. When he realised I wasn't pulling his leg and he'd actually seen a ghost, his face was certainly a picture!
I saw a medium twice...the first I saw when I was 16, she told me that I'd be doing her job when I was older. The second told me that there was a helpful spirit who follows me around, doing things for me and keeping me safe...she even told me that the spirit liked to make my bed! She told me not to fear her but to thank her every now and then. So I did.
Sadly Maggie didn't stick around forever....I'd quite enjoy having her here to make the beds now, but she disappeared when I was around 20.
I carried on reading tarot cards, as well as dabbling in candle magic and spell work on and off throughout my 20s, but it remained just an occasional hobby. Something I enjoyed but was never a big focus of my life.
It wasn't until after the birth of my third child in my mid-30s that I noticed a spiritualist church in the town I was now living in. I found myself staring at it every time I went past and felt drawn to it in a way that I couldn't ignore.
So, I looked it up and found that they held an open circle every week .... I wasn't sure what to expect but I went along anyway.
The open circle was a place for those interested in mediumship to learn more about it and have a go....I started to go along every week. The people were welcoming and friendly, and it was a relaxed and fun atmosphere...They weren't all aging hippies like I'd imagined to be the case, they were all very normal people - shop owners, council workers, one was even a policeman!
The 2 hour session would begin with a 30 minute guided meditation, and after that we'd have a go at seeing if we could get any messages through from spirit - there was no pressure to have a go, plenty of people just sat and listened instead. But I loved it and the more I practiced, the more easily it seemed to come.
At first I honestly felt like I was making it all up - I would say whatever popped into my head, which was usually images...I could see it in my mind as though it was a scene from a film, so I'd describe what I could see. If there were people I'd describe them, if it was a place then I'd describe that. It amazed me that what I was saying was often relevant to someone in the group.
Over time I learned to make the communication two way - so instead of just waiting for images to pop into my mind, I'd ask questions in my mind...things like "Tell me what you did for a living"...then an image would come into my mind and I'd communicate that to the group.
After a few months, I was informed of a spiritual development course the church held every year - it was to run for a few months, one evening per week and only cost a few pounds each session. I signed up and went along...feeling very nervous!
It turned out to be one of the best things I've ever done. I learned so much on that course and met some amazing people too.
Each week, we'd learn a different form of spirit communication...we experimented with different methods, and we researched the history of spiritualism and studied the pioneers of the movement.We also had visits from established mediums - I saw a demonstration from a trance medium, and the most incredible example of physical mediumship (which you can read all about here!).
When the course ended, a few of us were invited to become part of a further mediumship development group - this was a closed circle run and taught by the churchs presidents, a married couple with decades of experience as platform mediums.
I was delighted to be one of the people selected to progress to this group, and I loved continuing to practice there each week under their guidance. I was part of that group for 2 years, until the covid-19 pandemic forced the church to temporarily close its doors and I'm hoping to be able to return again soon as I dearly miss the chance to practice regularly and spend that time around like minded spiritual people.
Since then, I've found myself leaning more into spirituality than ever before - I do regular spell work and crystal healing at home, I use the law of attraction as a daily practice, and I even started my own business offering tarot card readings from home during the lockdown.
I used to feel embarrassed about my interest in spiritualism and spent a lot of time keeping it quiet, but the older I get...the less inclined I am to keep that side of my life hidden. I accept that it's not for everyone but it brings me comfort and contentment, so what's the harm in that?
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