A few days ago, I was singing my morning song to Andie while I was changing her diaper. I stopped right in the middle of my made up song, looked in the mirror above her changing table and said out loud, "wow, I sound just like my mom."
I wasn't referring to my inability to carry a tune (although, sorry mom, we may have that in common too), but it was the words I was singing, the looks I was making to Andie, the feeling I had in my heart. I could feel it. I am starting to sound like my mom. And it's absolutely one of the best things that could ever happen.
Growing up, my mom has always made us her first priority. Her favorite thing in the world is her girls, and I have never, ever doubted her love for us. She's not one of those moms that had the "cheer mom" sticker on her mini van, or the one in the audience of our oral language fair performance boasting to other moms "that's my daughter, isn't she beautiful"!? She's not the one to brag or find the superficial and physical attributes of her daughters the most charming. But I have always known she is proud of me. She has said to us since we were little, "real beauty is on the inside". And that thought has never steered me wrong.
My mom has always been a friend to her girls. But first and foremost, she is our mom and growing up we muttered the words "I hate you" a few times. It's because she knew she had to teach us the meaning of the word "no!" and stick to it. She had to teach us (and I am not sure how she did) to appreciate everything we had and how hard she and my dad always worked to give us a good life. But she did it so subtly. The words "I love you" were said often, and I never had a good night sleep unless my mom was there to give me a kiss goodnight. I still remember yelling for her from my bunk bed.
My dad has always worked very hard to provide for us (& he is a fantastic father). He worked a couple jobs while I was growing up, and my mom worked too - but we were her full time job. My mom managed to do everything a woman does to provide for a family with 3 girls in tow. And she did it gracefully with no help from her parents, in laws, or a sitter. It's something you don't always appreciate when you're young... but, I can yell this now from the highest mountain top - Mom, I don't know how you did it. But you did. And you did it so well. Grocery shopping can be an adventure with just one... and she did it with three no problem. And she tells us all the time that she enjoyed it. There was no where else my mom wanted to be but with her family.
My mom is absolutely hands down the best mom I could have ever asked for. She has shown me unconditional love, encouraged me, been my biggest critic when i've needed it, and lead a life that is definitely an example of how I want to live mine.
When I say I am sounding like my mother... I am not saying I will be the best mom. What I do mean is... this baby girl is the center of my world. I can suddenly feel this love and understand everything she has said to me over the years from her perspective. I only HOPE to be half the woman and mother she is.
I love you, mom. Thank you so much for being you. Gosh, I am so lucky and proud to be your daughter. And now, my heart is so warm and happy when I see Andie smile at you. You're her Gramz, she loves you, and she is one very lucky girl to have you.
{an oldie, but I love it}
