As I descended the stairs I caught your eye; I could have freaked out and ran a mile or I could have stayed and looking into you gray pools of sadness that lit up when you saw me. "That's impossible." You softly whispered, I mouthed back "I know." As I kept descending the stairs, we would never look at each other like that. Nobody would have the spark we did. I knew I'd see you again, maybe around University but it was deeper than that. I would see you in my dreams, like I had before.
You know the story, well you know it from your viewpoint and I knew it from yours. It had been going on for a while now, it wasn't right, I knew that. We met in this land; it always changed. One that always seemed to be there was the barren desert;the ground rough, dried up- nothing would ever live here. The moon hung low, a cool blue but it was you could touch it. There was tall canyons and they looked like they had no end in sight. The sky; a deep purple, a purple that was awash with lilac clouds. It was tranquil, I wasn't scared at all; he was there.
I found myself in this white chiffon dress that draped behind me, it's floaty material made me look like I was walking on wind. He wore a black suit with a smart black tie, he looked so serene. My hair got in my eyes but he always pushed it back "those eyes." He spoke in these dreams too, we would spend hours talking, telling things that we wouldn't tell other people. Yet, every time he tried to tell me his name the wind would cusp around us and deafen the names we were screaming at each other. "I'M LUNA TATIANA WATERS" but I was defended and I never head his beautiful voice telling me his name. All I saw was him clutching my hand as our mouths shouted but we never heard anything; how could we it wasn't right of us to know. We would only talk over the internet, we would find each other. Even if I nuzzled his shoulder, to feel his soft blonde hair against my ears; if we tried to be sneaky and to whisper it; the wind still did not permit. There were higher forces at work.
Then I would wake, sometimes in cold sweats, sometimes with flushes of red in my cheeks, my secret lover. I didn't have a boyfriend, so to call the boyfriend with no name a Beau... impossible. "Luna?" it was my mum, "Luna, you were screaming darling? Are you okay? Bad dream?" She began fussing over me, rushing to my en suite to get a cold flannel; it only made it worse. "Fine mom." I turned over, holding the flannel to my forehead. "Okay." I knew she would be biting her lip and leaving. She sighed as the door gently shut. Impossible, I told myself once more.
You told me about Sally, your old sheepdog that was your first animal, you told me you were allergic to peanuts and rasins; which we giggled about. You told me I was beautiful , you told me you loved me.
Once we were speaking about this situation; the scenery was a park bench but it was an eerily empty park but we could hear birds. This time I was wearing jeans, a white shirt and a green blazer. "Impossible, this isn't real none of it's real." He soothed my head by running his fingers through it; I liked it. "How could this be real?" I nodded in agreement. "No," he said "how could it be real when angels don't exist yet one sits right in my presence." "Shutup." I said. This hurt him as he flinched.
Then the dreams never came back, I tried so hard to make them come back to tell him I was sorry, to tell him I loved him. God, I loved you, so much. It hurt my heart to know I might never find you.
Then when I had come out my lecture, to walk down the stairs; you looked at me, I looked at you. A girl was standing next to you, her blonde hair was platinum unlike your golden locks, her piercing blue eyes were nothing compared to your lifeless gray. "Impossible." As those hazy winter eyes lit up. "I know" I mouthed. "James?" She said as she kissed him full frontal, I didn't want to accept that, I couldn't accept you had a girlfriend. I couldn't. "I'm so sorry" I half cried, half stressed as the que was building behind me."I'm so fucking sorry" I said directly as him as I barged past, half knocking his girlfriend against the wall. We kept walking as my friend bent around slightly. "What's up?!" She questioned. "Men" I said as we both laughed.
I never dreamt of you again; what was there to dream about? All my dreams had been taken in that second, one kiss, one name that brought it all crashing down.