I am still on a post-Listen To Your Mother HIGH from Saturday night and I'm losing my voice.
I wanted to share the essay that I read on stage to a packed house at our show. I feel so privileged to have been able to share this essay on a local stage that will then be put up on YouTube.
Let me know what you think in the comments please!
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I am a doula.
Now, MAYBE you just nodded your
head because you know what a doula is and think they are awesome, OR you shook
your head because you think doulas are super crunchy and only for hippies who
birth at home OR you got a really confused look on your face because you
thought I said something in another language and have no idea what a doula
is.
To be fair, Doula is a Greek word
that means “mother helper.” Most specifically, I am a birth doula. I give pregnant women tons of information
about how to get the birth experience they want and help women physically,
psychologically, and emotionally through labor and birth. It is basically, the coolest job ever…most of
the time.
I recently went to a performance of
Eve Ensler’s Vagina Monologues, and one of the monologues is titled, “I Was
There.” The piece is Ensler’s reflection on the awesome beauty and power of the
vagina to bring life into the world. I
was sitting near a doula friend of mine and we turned to each other after the
show and talked about how we get to be there all the time.
Doulas have this great privilege to
be invited into the intimate space of new beginnings for families. We not only see babies be born, but mothers
as well. We hold hands, suggest position
changes, and squeeze hips until our arms are exhausted beyond belief
sometimes. We voraciously read
everything pregnancy and birth related, and bite our tongues when we hear
misinformation and bad advice being given to pregnant women. Personally, I quietly go hand these women a
business card and tell them to call me, but not every doula is so brazen.
I have seen all kinds of mothers be
born into this world as their child comes earth-side. I have seen mothers weep at the sight of
their wrinkly vernix covered child being thrust into their arms while their
umbilical cord is still attached and their physical connection is not yet
separated. I have seen mothers reach for
their phone to update Facebook as they hold their 1 minute old baby wanting to
share the moment with the world. I have
seen a mother scared to death and waiting to hear the cry of her baby as it is
pulled from her splayed abdomen in the operating room. I have seen a mother numb as she feels her
baby slide out far too early and without a heartbeat. I have heard the joyful moans of a mother who
is no longer concerned about the waning pains of labor, who is absolutely in
love at the sight of her family of now three.
I’ve stayed with a mother as her newborn is rushed to the NICU and the
father follows not to return for several hours.
It is sacred, this space that a
doula occupies as a mother is being born.
The mother is completely consumed with their baby and the task at hand,
and I get to be there just for her. These
beginnings are magical, no matter how they happen. Being there so many times has changed the way
that I look at motherhood altogether. I
come home exhilarated from the experience of yet another beginning to a
motherhood journey for someone else, and so thankful for the journey that I
have been on so far. I squeeze my two
girls tight, no matter the hour, and smell their hair remembering their own
entries into the world and my beginnings as a mother.
Every birth is different. I have never attended two births that were
exactly alike, and I believe this reflects the journey of motherhood better
than I could ever put into words. We all
experience beginnings in different ways, and our journeys take us many
different places, but we are all part of this lovely club of motherhood. Not one of us performs motherhood exactly the
same, and for that I am truly grateful.
I get to be there all the time to
see the birth of mothers, and I never forget their faces as it happens to
them. I feel nothing but awe for these
mothers every single time. Doulas get to
occupy this singular space between expecting and beginning. We’re invited to bear witness and to help
usher in the beginning of motherhood journeys for our clients. We get to be there, and for that I am truly
grateful.
Here I am with our lovely photographer Erin Merris, our Emcee Stacey Godbold of Project Reveal fame, & the always beautiful Mary Rose Stewart!